Serving Clovis, Portales and the Surrounding Communities
Serving Clovis, Portales and the Surrounding Communities
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Do you ever think of your relatives, you know, those who have "gone on to glory"? I thought about my father's parents the other day. A few weeks ago their 100th anniversary passed on by. They were married Christmas Day, 1912. She was a cigarette-smoking, Bible-quoting, stern yet fun Virginia mountain girl and he was a guy from the flatlands who had come to the highlands to be the accountant for a mining company. My folks shipped me off to live with my grandparents for my last couple of years of high school. Grandma was a...
"She went running off into the snow screaming and screaming and I just stood there at the door laughing." These words were spoken by a fellow student at the truck driving training camp I went to many years ago. Her name was Lorraine. After she told me the story of why she decided to get into truck driving I started calling her "20 Gauge Lorraine." I remembered 20 Gauge Lorraine the other day after coming across a news story from Florida. It seems a woman got a free ride in a police car to the county jail, charged with...
"Ouch," I said. I nicked myself trimming a fingernail. "Better put some ointment and a bandage on it," said The Lady of the House. "Naw," I said. "It's just a tiny thing." A few day's later my finger was not happy, being all red, swollen and tender. "You should see a doctor about that," warned The Lady of the House. "I still have the immune system of a teenager," I proclaimed. "I will beat this." A few days later my finger was redder, more swollen and not looking good at all. Trouble was it was a Sunday. I went out on the...
A few weeks ago a guy created a stir at the Miami airport. He was asked if he had any hazardous materials in his luggage. His answer was, "Dynamite." He was arrested. He said he was just joking. It reminded me of my lesson that one doesn't kid around at entryways to U. S. Military installations either. It was a few months after the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks. I was driving an 18-wheeler across these United States. I really never knew what I was hauling; it was my job to just get the trailer to where it belonged. So when I was sen...
I was taking my trash out to the alley trash bin only to discover it was full. So I walked to another trash bin past one of the rent houses in the neighborhood, realizing that I had no idea who lived there. In years past I've gotten to know some of the folks in that house. There were the folks who built a big bonfire in their driveway. They were trying to burn up a surplus of tumbleweeds. Fire trucks arrived on the scene. Our new neighbors didn't understand what all the fuss was about. It seems they had always burned brush...
It was a typical Saturday afternoon at The Stucco Hacienda. I woke up from a nice long nap and noticed my toes were stiff. It was a new, weird feeling. "You know," I said to The Lady of the House. "Ever since that last birthday I've been having more aches and pains. Last week it was my back and shoulders, now my toes are stiff." "Really?" said The Lady of the House as she rolled up her yoga mat and slipped it into the closet. "I mean, I ride my bicycle over 60 miles every week, don't I get a pass on this 'getting old'...
I saw a 1972 Dodge Demon the other day. It reminded me of an old high school friend, Mark Woolferd. Woolferd was more my buddy Catfish's friend than mine. On any given Saturday night during those high school years he and Catfish would roll up to my house in Woolferd's shiny, black Demon with its glossy silver mag wheels, jacked-up rear-end and racing slicks. Then we'd drive off looking for girls in cars to talk to. I had my very first big-time crush during those days; on Rhonda Sue, the preacher's daughter. "McGee has a...
The Lady of the House and I have been doing a bit of dog-sitting. The dog's name is Fish, a "Heinz 57" of a dog packed into a mostly Chihuahua body. I am told the creation of the dog's name involved a few adult beverages. Maybe you had to be there. "I keep wanting to call her Schotzie," I said to The Lady of the House. "Schotzie, that's a name for a Daschund," she said. "Exactly, it was my brother's dog. The one that let the cat burglar in," I said. "Back in the '80's he woke up in the middle of the night to see some dude...
I have a lot of respect for women. My mom did most of the raising of my brother, sister and me. While my dad was busy with his work my mom was the one who directed my world: She drove me to Boy Scout meetings, she took me and my buddies fishing and she tried to teach me how to dribble a basketball until she threw up her hands in frustration yelling, "You're thinking about it too much!" Having said that I have no problem with women in positions of power, management and work. It has always seemed perfectly natural and expected...
My supervisor at my day job said I had to clear my office of most of my personal stuff. I didn't complain. For one thing my office doesn't belong to me and for another it was getting hard to move around in there. So I got some boxes and started hauling the stuff away: Artwork, junk, old papers, some junk, weird toys and some more junk. There was my digital camera I bought at a yard sale for 7 bucks. Some of the functions didn't function and I held the battery compartment shut with a couple of rubber bands but hey, 7 bucks is...
Have you run into folks who aren't familiar with our country's money? I have. For instance, a few years ago I stopped in a fast food joint in Lake Charles, La., to get some munchies. I handed the young woman behind the counter three $2 bills. The young woman looked at me, looked at the money, looked at me then said, "One moment please." She turned and called some guy's name and this dude with a different colored outfit complete with tie comes to the counter. "I think he just handed me some fake money," she tried whispering...
The time had come to return home from our mini-vacation in northern New Mexico. We were energized and restored. We had feasted on local cuisine, even going out of our way to Mora to enjoy "the best steak tacos in the world," according to the Lady of the House. "Let's see what's going on back in Roy," she said. If you recall, on our way north we stopped in Roy in Harding County looking for, "the world's greatest green chile cheeseburger," according toThe Lady of the House. The town's lone restaurant was closed that day, it...
Have you noticed payphones are vanishing from the landscape? And of those that are still around ... do they even work? The Lady of the House and I had no cell phone service when we arrived in Red River up in Taos County; a little phone receiver with a slash through it was all that was on our cell phone screens. "I like being cut off from the world," said The Lady of the House. "So Walden Pond-ish." "But what if something goes wrong at the house? What if a giant space rock drops on the bicycle shop?" I asked. "That's why we...
"Cheeseburger!" said the Lady of the House. We had just spent the last three hours zipping over miles of two-lane blacktop through miles of vast emptiness that is northeastern New Mexico. "With green chile," she whispered. We were on our way to Red River, but our immediate destination, our shining El Dorado, was the dusty town of Roy, where we would find the best green chili cheeseburger in the world, according to the Lady of the House. We pulled into the town and I took a right. "Cheeseburger?" she asked "It's fine," I said,...
Along life's journey there are people we'll always remember. For me, Mr. Hewel Jones was one of those folks. I couldn't tell you everything I learned from him, but the bottom line was to be straightforward, have manners, class and a sense of humor. I worked for Mr. Jones for nine years. He sold his radio stations a couple of years ago. Many a supervisor I'd worked for felt that getting angry when mistakes happened was the way to go. Mr. Jones wasn't that way. Like the time over a dozen years ago when a big ol' snowstorm...
It was Sunday at the Stucco Hacienda, the weather was nice, it was time to get some yard work done. "Are you ready?" asked The Lady of the House. "You betcha!" I said. "Okay, I need you to pull up the sunflowers," said The Lady of the House. After a few minutes I realized I had dressed too warmly. "I'm going inside to change into something cooler," I said. "Yes dear," said The Lady of the House, pulling weeds. I came back out and headed toward the sunflowers when I spotted a huge goathead plant. I yanked it up. "Wow, look at...
One of the family was off to a recent funeral for a friend. As they were going out the door I said, "Now if the preacherman at the funeral starts hootin' and hollerin' that you're horrible for not believing like he does it's OK to leave the place." The door closed and I felt the gaze of The Lady of the House upon my personage. "What was that about?" she asked, looking over the top of her glasses. "Well let me tell you a story," I said. "I'm sure you will," said The Lady of the House. It was long ago and far away, the story...
It's been a pretty good "Yard Sale-ing Season." It's something The Lady of the House and I like to do; rise and shine early on a Saturday and hit the streets looking for nifty stuff. What is nifty stuff? We don't know, we just know it when we see it. For instance, I couldn't say no to a videotape player for one dollar. Yes, we still watch videotapes. There's a wide selection of them out there and they're cheap. This VHS machine was truly nifty stuff. It's ancient, it was a dollar and the woman hosting the yard sale assured...
Believe it or not, I once sold cosmetics door to door for "that Famous Cosmetics Company." I'm deliberately obfuscating the name because I don't know if it's legally safe to just come right out and name it. You know, the one that rhymes with "shave on." How did I come to sell for That Famous Cosmetics Company? I was kicking back with my pals one day when my buddy C.B. said when the oil bust happened in the Permian Basin in the mid-1980s, he found himself out of work. "So I got a job selling cosmetics," he said. "I did all...
Believe it or not, I once sold cosmetics door to door for "that Famous Cosmetics Company." I'm deliberately obfuscating the name because I don't know if it's legally safe to just come right out and name it. You know, the one that rhymes with "shave on." How did I come to sell for That Famous Cosmetics Company? I was kicking back with my pals one day when my buddy C.B. said when the oil bust happened in the Permian Basin in the mid-1980s, he found himself out of work. "So I got a job selling cosmetics," he said. "I did all...
The Lady of the House tore up her garden last week. She had been threatening and threatening but I never thought she'd really do it. She started gardening when we met almost 10 years ago. You should know she takes this stuff seriously. The Lady of the House loves her gardens. On cold winter days she sits in her recliner with clipboard in hand, mapping out the upcoming summer's garden: Roma tomatoes here, Anaheim chili peppers there along with eggplant, bell peppers and more. Last summer she issued a warning during those...
The Lady of the House tore up her garden last week. She had been threatening and threatening but I never thought she'd really do it. She started gardening when we met almost 10 years ago. You should know she takes this stuff seriously. The Lady of the House loves her gardens. On cold winter days she sits in her recliner with clipboard in hand, mapping out the upcoming summer's garden: Roma tomatoes here, Anaheim chili peppers there along with eggplant, bell peppers and more. Last summer she issued a warning during those...
It's been over a month since a member of the family has returned home. In that time he's been pulled over by the police three times. I was having a philosophical chat with The Ticketed One, pondering why he was getting so much attention from "The Fuzz." "Are you driving too slow?" I asked. "Are you making rude gestures to them as you pass?" "Noooo." "After they pull you over are you saying, 'Shouldn't you be at the donut shop?'" "Noooo." "So why do you think they're pulling you over?" "Lights," said The Ticketed One. "Burned...
It's been over a month since a member of the family has returned home. In that time he's been pulled over by the police three times. I was having a philosophical chat with The Ticketed One, pondering why he was getting so much attention from "The Fuzz." "Are you driving too slow?" I asked. "Are you making rude gestures to them as you pass?" "Noooo." "After they pull you over are you saying, 'Shouldn't you be at the donut shop?'" "Noooo." "So why do you think they're pulling you over?" "Lights," said The Ticketed One. "Burned...
Summer days like these remind me of a time almost 40 years ago that I learned my grandma had smoked The Marijuana. My father's mother would sit in her easy chair in the corner of the living room, smoking a filterless Raleigh cigarette and watching her soap operas. Between her shows she would tell tales of long ago or pontificate on the rules of life. But she really surprised me when she said she smoked The Marijuana. Me and my buddy Dick had been shooting the breeze on the back porch of "The Old Home Place," talking about a...
