Serving Clovis, Portales and the Surrounding Communities
Serving Clovis, Portales and the Surrounding Communities
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Happy Fourth of July or, more accurately, happy Independence Day. This is one of only two holidays that come to mind commonly called the date it occurs rather than the event it commemorates. The other is, of course, Cinco de Mayo. How often do any of us refer to Independence Day? It’s always something like, “Have a good Fourth of July,” or “Don’t forget to buy a fifth on the third for the Fourth.” Maybe we call it by the date because it’s our country’s birthday, and birthdays are always remembered by the date. For a long time...
What really annoys me is a skinny cooking show host. If that stuff the host is demonically devising is anywhere near as good as claimed, why is that person skinny? It has about as much credibility as Bob Vila in a body cast. Who’s going to believe a fix-everything toolmeister who falls off a ladder or gets roughed up by a band saw? Only two other things on this old Earth of ours strain credibility to this extent. The first is my claiming to be 39. The other is the myth of my empty tool box. Jack Benny got away with 39, so w...
I doubt if there is anything on this planet that ranks remotely close to a fish in the hierarchy of general weirdity. Just watch one of those critters swimming around aimlessly in its tank or bowl for a while — unless there’s something better to do. They always look surprised. Why does a fish have this frozen expression of surprise on its face? It’s not like the tank has turned into a scenic highway. What does that dummy have in its soggy little world that could possibly keep it in a state of wonderment like that? A sizab... Full story
Not too long ago, when I decided to spend a pleasant weekend afternoon in my ancient, crippled recliner, I noticed something disturbing through the front window. Saundra had taken the lawn mower from the garage and was wheeling it into view. I could pretend not to see her, but she would know better. With an expectant glance at the window, she pulled on the starter cord thing. Well, that could be my cue. So much for the nap-inducing TV documentary on the mating habits of the Sumatran tree slug. With a resigned click of the...
Sixty years ago today, the biggest invasion in history began. The events at Normandy on June 6, 1944, stir up so many thoughts and feelings. It took place nine months before I was born, so I can’t honestly say I know what anybody went through back then. I have read about D-Day, but that doesn’t come remotely close to experiencing it. The people of my late parents’ generation are the ones who really know about D-Day, particularly the ones who hit those beaches or worried about loved ones in harm’s way, such as my father...
About two weeks ago, I attended the nurses’ pinning at Eastern New Mexico University. I had the honor of witnessing a ceremony rewarding hard work, sacrifice, and dedication. A few weeks before the event, Ellen Bral invited me to attend. I have great respect for Bral and her dedication to the health-care professions, the university, and the community. As the nursing program’s director, she works as both administrator and teacher. Even more importantly, her commitment to her students would impress anyone. I don’t know how s...
We hear a lot of talk about heroes these days. That’s a good thing because we need heroes. We need people we can admire, people who give us and (especially) our children a positive role model. A society without heroes is a society without values. What defines our society to a large extent is the way we define our heroes. The status of hero should not be given easily. Special recognition should be reserved for special people. Unfortunately, I have heard this term thrown about almost indiscriminately. An outstanding athlete s...
At a recent weekly Kiwanis meeting, I announced to my fellow members that I intended to install a new kitchen faucet. That got a bigger laugh than Nixon offering a job to George Carlin. For a minute I thought they were all going to say in unison, “Tell Saundra to go get Dave.” Well, doggone it, maybe I don’t need Dave to bail me out of every situation involving practical skill or basic manual dexterity. After all, I do have opposable thumbs just like Dave and everybody else. Not only that, I got a new tool box for Chris... Full story
Plants hate me. When I watch those leaves, buds, and stalks (in other people’s yards) bobbing and swaying in the breeze and those emerging blossoms basking in the Portales sunshine, I see much more than meets the eyeball. Yes, I know what they’re doing. I can see through all that supposedly innocent plant activity. The evil things occupy themselves in conspiracies against me, but I have become far too clever for their games as I brave another spring as a homeowner in need of botanical enrichment. Will they win again this yea...
Plants hate me. When I watch those leaves, buds, and stalks (in other people’s yards) bobbing and swaying in the breeze and those emerging blossoms basking in the Portales sunshine, I see much more than meets the eyeball. Yes, I know what they’re doing. I can see through all that supposedly innocent plant activity. The evil things occupy themselves in conspiracies against me, but I have become far too clever for their games as I brave another spring as a homeowner in need of botanical enrichment. Will they win again this yea...
Saturday was a holiday of sorts, I suppose. Do kids still do the Maypole thing? I remember as a child in elementary school (yes, there were schools back then) we were supposed to grab the ends of long ribbons (crepe paper?) and dance around a pole. Now there’s the thrill of a lifetime. The memories have mostly faded into the deep caverns of times gone by (ain’t that poetic, though?), but one thing remains crystal clear: It didn’t make any sense. And why did those New England Puritans take it so seriously that they made it a...
This month is about ready to bite the dust after some much-needed April showers, and winter has probably gone to sleep for a few months. All things considered, this is a great time of year. I have always enjoyed spring. Once we get into the swing of the season, we should really appreciate it. Yes, I know spring started with the vernal equinox over a month ago, but I’m talking about the real spring, not what the calendar says. When I think of spring, I think of the gently warming weather, the world awakening to a sunny g...
Well, spring has sprung. The time has come to bask in the sunshine of warmer days, smell all those nice green things coming to life after their winter slumber, enjoy the tulips and daffodils peeking up through the soil, look at the buds coming out on the trees, and think about rattlesnakes. I sure blew that mood, didn’t I? Heh heh heh. We didn’t have to be concerned about these critters over the winter because they hibernate. They generally hibernate in large groups, so remember when you see one in early spring, many mor... Full story
As anyone who knows me is very much aware, from time to time I have difficulty in dealing with practical matters, especially when these matters involve machines or common sense. My confusion inevitably leads to amused disbelief of my friends. Sometimes things that seem inherently simple or obvious totally escape my understanding. Occasionally I can end confusion simply by finding things out. But this does not always work. That’s when I season the confusion stew with a dab of frustration. An example of this is Interstate 2... Full story
As anyone who knows me is very much aware, from time to time I have difficulty in dealing with practical matters, especially when these matters involve machines or common sense. My confusion inevitably leads to amused disbelief of my friends. Sometimes things that seem inherently simple or obvious totally escape my understanding. Occasionally I can end confusion simply by finding things out. But this does not always work. That’s when I season the confusion stew with a dab of frustration. An example of this is Interstate 2...
Jim LeeWell, it looks like we survived April Fool’s Day this year. Why does this date become an excuse for practical jokes? I ne Well, it looks like we survived April Fool’s Day this year. Why does this date become an excuse for practical jokes? I never have understood that. Why do we need practical jokes in the first place? Maybe it’s a form of socially sanctioned bullying. It’s fun for the perpetrator but in many cases not exactly a bucket of giggles for the victim. Yes, I said victim. Practical jokes involve somethi... Full story
Well, here we are at the end of March. Another month has passed without the world going to Helena in a handcart — the good people of Montana must feel relieved. Putting such silliness aside, I need to bring up this week’s topic: Mongolian ant farms. However, a brief spasm of research advises that this topic may also be considered a form of nonessential tomfoolery; Tom should have to deal with his own foolery because I have my own to overcome. Instead, let’s take a gander at getting information from television. First, on ne...
Since Saturday was the vernal equinox, the first day of spring (according to the calendar anyway), I have an easy choice for a topic this week. Of course, as we all know by now, that means I’ll go on and on about something totally unrelated to that. I neglected to write about the African-American experience last month, and February is Black (or African-American) History Month. As far as I know, I have no African-American relatives or ancestors. If I did I would be very proud, just as I am proud of my Native American g...
Well, here’s my 52nd column in this space. I suppose that means I’ve been doing this for a year now. Is it my imagination, or does each year go by a bit faster than the previous one? Maybe it just seems that way because I’m having such a good time. During this past year I hope I entertained others as much as I entertained myself. I think it’s important to enjoy what I do, but it also has to be worthwhile to other people. Enjoying my activity (I can’t bring myself to calling it work) is a good thing, but self-indu...
Another leap year has leapt upon us. As always, the occasion causes me to scratch my rapidly graying cranium in profound confusion. I have a difficult time struggling to understand calendar stuff. Why do we need an extra day in February every few years, and why is February shorter than the other months anyway? Another complication is that people in charge of such matters decided to go with a different calendar over 400 years ago. From 46 B.C. to 1582 the Western world used what we call now the Julian calendar. Supposedly,... Full story
Well, here we are at George Washington’s birthday. Of course, that is not entirely accurate because he was born under the Julian calendar. Since 1752, when Washington was 20 years old, we have been using the Gregorian calendar. When we play with the differences the calendar change makes, he was actually born on Feb. 11, 1732. This means Thomas Edison was born on George Washington’s 115th birthday. The significance of this escapes me since Washington didn’t invent anything of note that I can think of, but I thought it could...
Last week I got into the water issue and how we need new ideas to go along with the ideas already on the table. I suggested brainstorming, coming up with as many concepts as possible without thinking about whether they’re good or bad, smart or dumb. Of course a lot of ridiculous, even harebrained schemes will result. On the other hand, if we dream up enough possibilities, maybe some of them will turn out to be pretty good ideas. Besides, what have we got to lose by trying? The biggest reasons we are running out of water is o...
Guess what: We’re running out of water. That’s no huge news flash, but maybe we should remind ourselves about it from time to time. Oh, we probably won’t go dry in the next nine minutes, but things like this need planning and advance work. If we wait till the last drop comes into view, we will be in a world of hurt. On top of staying aware of the exponentially escalating problem, we have to take responsibility for our own welfare. We can’t just sit around and wait for somebody else to handle the situation. No big corpora...
Welcome to 2004. Are we ready to start another year of wondering which months have 30 days and which have 31? It seems easy when we say long and short alternate, starting with a long one. It’s a matter of 31, 30 and so on, right? Well, not quite. There is the matter of July and August (consecutive months with 31 days). Then we have February with 28 days — unless it’s a leap year. On top of that, some months are really incorrectly named. October means eighth month in Latin when it is actually the 10th month. How did that...
Welcome to 2004. Are we ready to start another year of wondering which months have 30 days and which have 31? It seems easy when we say long and short alternate, starting with a long one. It’s a matter of 31, 30 and so on, right? Well, not quite. There is the matter of July and August (consecutive months with 31 days). Then we have February with 28 days — unless it’s a leap year. On top of that, some months are really incorrectly named. October means eighth month in Latin when it is actually the 10th month. How did that...
