Serving Clovis, Portales and the Surrounding Communities
Serving Clovis, Portales and the Surrounding Communities
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Wednesday will be the last day of 2003. It seems like a couple of days ago we were talking about how all the computers would revolt when the year 2000 happened. We passed up that eagerly anticipated crisis without major mishap, so I suppose the start of 2004 won’t cause too many problems. I don’t foresee any crises caused by the passing of another year. I’m not even getting any older; I’ll change my year of birth when that annual chronological challenge comes around in March. In addition to trying to predict things, the end...
Well, Monday is the winter solstice, and Thursday is Christmas Day. No problem in dreaming up something to write about this week. It seems a given that I say something about these two annual events like everybody else. But that’s just what everybody expects me to do. I’m far too clever to fall for that ploy. Instead, I’ve decided to spout off on designated handicap parking spaces. Parking always becomes a bit of an issue this time of year. Until I qualified for a handicap parking placard, I never paid much attention to the si... Full story
My wife Saundra suggested I write about the little-known wildlife native to the vast New Mexico wetlands. I suspect she offered this advice simply to hear the response of our friend who happens to be a retired biology professor and an expert in New Mexico wildlife. I won’t mention Dr. Tony Gennaro’s name, but I wonder if this person, his wife Marjorie, and Saundra have conspired to trick me into this. Anyone who dares to assume I can be so easily tricked underestimates my cleverness and overestimates my gullibility. Aft...
A couple of weeks ago when I mentioned the names of some of my friends, I neglected to name Dr. and Mrs. Manuel Varela. Manny and Ann are fine people and highly respected professionals in the community. It is a privilege to call them friends, and I thoroughly enjoy bragging about knowing them. This seems an especially appropriate day to mention people like Ann and Manny Varela, people who have given to the community and to our society. Sixty-two years ago today, over 2,000 Americans gave the ultimate gift to our country: thei... Full story
Well, Monday starts the last month of this year. It seems like the year just got started. In a couple of weeks or so I’ll be so tired of the constant repetition of holiday songs I’ll be tempted to sneak bark beetles into Christmas tree lots. I’m not really a scrooge, but enough is enough. Remember when the Christmas shopping season started the day after Thanksgiving? That was nice. I recall as a kid right after Thanksgiving watching people put up the Christmas decorations and setting up those displays in the department store...
Well, here we are three-fourths of the way through November already. This Thursday will be Thanksgiving Day. Time sure slips by when we’re having fun, doesn’t it? I have such an enjoyable life that sometimes I think I should feel guilty about it. But guilt is dumb; it’s like making payments on a debt I don’t owe. So I think I’ll just feel good about the good stuff life has brought me. I am so fortunate in so many ways, although I do have a few shortcomings. I’m not rich (in the material sense). I have my share of the aches a...
Guess what? I’m confused. That’s no big surprise to anybody who has been reading this column awhile. What am I confused about this time? Well, I recently heard that humans and chimpanzees have been placed in the same genus. How in the world does anybody decide a thing like that? I’ve been accused of having some relatives oddly suited to swinging through trees, but this is going a bit far. Every kind of life, animal or plant, has a scientific name, and that official name is actually two names: the genus and the species. For s... Full story
I have been receiving a number of suggestions for topics lately. I really appreciate the input. After all, nobody has a patent on ideas. These suggestions have ranged from what to wear on Halloween to significant improvements for the community — and a whole lot of stuff in between. Of course Halloween was over two weeks ago, so Phil Gill’s costume suggestion will have to wait until next year (hopefully longer than that because I would look hideous in a dress). Among the suggestions was dealing with the issue of bro...
I’m confused again. It seems the older I get the easier that happens. This time it’s really getting me spaced out. Well, I suppose I should simply say what’s on my beleaguered mind. OK, here it comes. I don’t understand why we risk the lives of astronauts just to make them ride circles around the planet and come back down in a glorified glider. NASA calls it a shuttle, but doesn’t a “shuttle” by definition take people to a specified place and bring them back? Where’s the destination for a space “shuttle?” They don’t go anywh...
About three weeks ago I performed an experiment. I discovered that if I droop the end of the toilet paper roll into the bowl and push down the flush handle, the force of the swirling water will pull the paper off the roll. I didn’t check to see if the paper would go upward on the other side of the Equator. After a few moments of reflection, I began wondering why I performed such a stupid, pointless experiment. After all, I did graduate high school in the top 90 percent of my class. Maybe I needed a weekend out of town. No m...
Why is undercooked steak called “rare” when it’s so commonplace? Isn’t “rare” supposed to indicate something unusual? There’s nothing unusual about undercooked steak. A lot of people like it that way, but I ain’t one of them, friends and neighbors. Some people like it downright raw in my estimation. Why don’t they just run out in the feedlot and bite a cow on the fetlocks? Some people think a steak is overdone if it doesn’t scream when they stab it with a fork. There’s even something called steak tartar, but no way am I going... Full story
I am often kidded about guessing wrong when I do the weather on the radio. Well, I am hereby informing the world my forecasts are never wrong. Unlike mere mortals, weather reporter guys are never wrong. True, we are not always right, but we are never wrong. What’s the difference? Sorry, I can’t tell you because it’s a trade secret. If I violated this principle I would be forced to double-park in Philadelphia — and we all know how ugly that could turn out to be. As my friend Bob Pierce points out, scattered showers could mean... Full story
On Tuesday at 3:46 a.m. we will experience a celestial happening. It will be the autumnal equinox, or the first day of fall. In case anybody cares, next year it will be on Sept. 22 at 9:29 a.m. It is one of two days each year in which every place on earth experiences 12 hours of day and 12 hours of night. Autumnal equinox comes from the Latin word equinoctium (which means equal night). It is the Wiccan festival of Mabon (harvest and thanksgiving). The days will grow progressively shorter until the sun reaches its lowest...
Since I happen to enjoy football, and I also happen to be a grandfather, I should write about the first day of the NFL season or Grandparents Day. Both occasions do fall on the same day this year. But that was last Sunday, so I’ll write about something else. Had you fooled for a second there, didn’t I? The biggest reason I didn’t write about the double-occasion was because I didn’t think of it. It simply slipped my mind. Does this mean I’m just getting older instead of older and wiser? Oh well, at least I got it half righ...
Well, here we are a week into September. How did that happen so fast? School has started and last weekend was the last hurrah of summer. I hope everybody enjoyed that three-day Labor Day weekend. While we enjoyed that day off, I wonder how many of us gave a thought to how it got started, or even what it’s really all about. Labor Day (spelled “Labour” in Canada) has been a holiday over a century in the USA and Canada. It became an official holiday in both countries in 1894, shortly after the disastrous Pullman Strike near... Full story
A friend and I were discussing Thomas Edison a few days ago. The conversation brought up the inventor’s reliance on tenacity and trial-and-error. He simply kept at something until he got the desired results. As admirable as that was and as well as it worked out for him, I think there had to be an inciting inspiration in there somewhere. There has to be a reason to invent something and a particular result in mind at the start, whether it turns out that way or not. Sure, Alexander Graham Bell came up with the telephone when h... Full story
Have you considered the possibility of an 18-wheeler roaring past you on the interstate belching the aroma of French fries and tater tots? It could happen one of these days. No, I didn’t check out of the Hotel Reality. It isn’t all that far fetched to think of juice from the deep fryer ending up in a diesel fuel tank — and working just as well as the regular stuff. It has been proven that diesel engines can run just fine on processed vegetable oil and animal fat. This alternate fuel is called biodiesel. Engines can burn... Full story
Not too many Americans realize the capital of Latvia is Riga. Then again, not too many Americans give a rat’s left ear about the capital of Latvia. That’s why this week’s topic has absolutely nothing to do with Latvia, or Riga for that matter. Instead, I want to mention an anniversary from a month ago that probably went by just about as noticed as Riga. In another capital city (Paris) a mob stormed a prison called the Bastille and set off the French Revolution. This was July 14, 1789. Ninety-two years later, another jailb...
Last week I wrote about some of the dumb things college graduates have done. When I did that, I committed the latest dumb thing in my cerebral repertoire: writing about something too big for the column. So here’s another installment of mental pratfalls from people brave enough to laugh at themselves. I’ll start off with kidding my friend and local pastor, Father Tobin Hitt. He confesses to an incident in New York City as a second-year seminary student. He saw a man rob a woman of her bicycle. Of course he decided to hel...
On one of the many occasions I did something quite stupid, someone remarked about it, and I replied, “I don’t have to be smart because I went to college.” I don’t know why I suddenly thought of that moment this long afterward. Maybe it just shows how my mind works (or doesn’t work). Sometimes I think supposedly smart people could use a dose of common sense. I don’t know if I’m smart or not, but I certainly could use some common sense. I’ve done some things in my life that put my mental ability at the level of a lemur with a l... Full story
Well, here we are in the second half of 2003. It just doesn’t seem possible. It feels like New Year’s Day happened around last week, and now we’re closer to 2004 than 2002. It makes me stop and realize that, other than just one day, birthdays are always less than a year away. So I stopped at 39 like Jack Benny and haven’t had a birthday in nearly 20 years. I suppose that makes me prematurely gray. Oh well, I just call it a unique shade of blond. No vanity here, friends and neighbors. This brings to mind a special neighbo...
Well, here it is the sixth of July. It doesn’t seem possible, does it? It’s hard to believe history has claimed half of the year 2003 already. A year sure goes by quickly when we’re having a good time. And I’m having a real good time this year. A highlight of the first half of 2003 came recently when I attended a wedding. Normally, I wouldn’t call a wedding a high point of any half year. Like most guys, I generally look forward to weddings like I look forward to funerals or having a tooth drilled without anesthesi...
Well, Saundra and I finally did it. We got ourselves a dog. The back yard was too empty and the house too peaceful, I suppose. When the kids are grown and off on their own, things are entirely too serene, right? Everything was just too nice and quiet. I had no decent excuse to stall off my domestic projects or to catch up on my reading, so we got ourselves a dog. It all started at Wal-Mart. As we were leaving after spending two months’ pay on a week’s worth of goodies, we noticed a pickup truck with a sign on it at the far... Full story
Saturday was the first day of summer and the summer solstice. We’ve been having summer weather for at least a month, so I don’t know why summer is supposedly just starting up. We got more hours of daylight than any other day of the year, but I don’t understand why I need the calendar to tell me that. I can see when the sun rises and drops. When I’m comfortable outdoors in my ratty old T-shirt, I can figure out summer has arrived. I understand some groups of pagans think all this is really important stuff, but I’m not a pagan....
Well, here it is the first of June already. Time sure goes by quickly when you’ve been 39 for 19 years. It seems like only yesterday it was still May. As you may have guessed at this point, my hero is Jack Benny. But since Mr. Benny no longer makes those great television shows, I have to watch something more modern. Well, it seems more modern in some ways and just the opposite in other ways. “What on earth is he yakking about this time?” I hear you ask in unbearable curiosity. I am referring to The Weather Channel. There’s so... Full story
