Serving Clovis, Portales and the Surrounding Communities
Serving Clovis, Portales and the Surrounding Communities
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I read or heard somewhere that predators have eyes in the front of their heads while plant-eaters have eyes at the sides of their heads. This makes sense since carnivores have to move forward to see and keep track of their prey, and herbivores hang out in herds with everybody watching what’s going on around them because they don’t like the idea of becoming lunch. The difference in teeth is also an example of form following function. The hunters have teeth that puncture, rip, and shred. The hunted have teeth that clip and gri...
We have another Christmas behind us. No more trying to remember Uncle Edgar’s favorite color for new suspenders or if your spouse’s grandma will take out her teeth at Christmas dinner and complain about the mixed nuts. Yesterday ended the panic, running out of tape at the last minute, and braving the store entrance gauntlet of ho-ho-hos, clanging bells, and money buckets. Fa-la-la-la-la, take down the lights. I don’t sound like a cynic, do I? Hey, I have enough holiday spirit to wait until after the big day to write this,...
The recent outbreak of violence at sporting events nudged me into some reflection. Something really big usually has to happen to jumpstart my thought processes, so those nasty little episodes with the athletes and spectators must be something more than hype to get us to gawk at CNN. Getting my mind in gear is no small accomplishment considering that my clutch went out about 20 years ago. To me, the term sports means competition between sportsmen. I don’t exclude women from sports, but it wasn’t sportswomen launching the...
Not too long ago, I had the pleasure of spending a little time with our state senator, Stuart Ingle. We happened to see each other where we were both having lunch and decided to have coffee and dessert together. While we sat there chatting and munching, his cell phone interrupted him (a call from a state legislator for advice). It made me wonder if he ever has any time for himself. It is amazing how hard some people work, even people who don’t get a salary. (State senators and representatives get some expenses reimbursed, b...
I hope everybody had an enjoyable Thanksgiving and is back to sensible eating. I would gladly wager all of somebody else’s money that this holiday causes more creative excuses for out-and-out gluttony than any other occasion throughout the year. “Well, I sure didn’t expect to eat that much.” I’d call statements like that utter “baloney,” but the person who made that lame excuse probably finished off the baloney in the fridge after the turkey got gone. Every Thanksgiving I end up looking like Subway Jared’s before-picture....
Usually, when a problem seems so complex with barriers to just about any conceivable answer, the solution eventually comes in a flash of inspiration in a very basic form. This is because an uncomplicated, direct answer has been staring at everybody right in the face all along, but nobody notices until some simple soul who doesn’t have any technical know-how sees the light. So when people can’t see the forest for the trees, maybe they should get enough sense to leave the woods. The problem of nuclear waste falls into this cat...
Although last week’s column followed the general election by only five days and would have been a timely topic, I decided against commenting about it then. At first, I thought I should write about it, but after a bit of reflection, I changed my mind. The event culminated a period of particularly vicious electioneering. So I thought we could all use the distance of an additional week to get the healing process started. This healing process, although not called exactly that, came up in the victory and concession speeches of t...
We’re halfway through another NFL season already. It seems like only a week or so since the first of the preseason games, wondering which team would win a Super Bowl appearance or claim first place in felony convictions. Time sure goes by quickly when we’re having fun. My wife and I enjoy watching NFL football games together, although we do have differences regarding our teams. Saundra prefers the Buffalo Bills and the San Diego Chargers, preferably the Bills. The Bills have been her team for years. When they traded qua...
It’s time to write about something even more scary than Halloween — the election is Tuesday. Maybe I shouldn’t use the word scary. When things go reasonably close to the way they should, presidential elections are not evil occasions. Maybe it’s because of my legal training or all those political science classes I took as an undergraduate about 300 years ago, but I get downright fascinated by politics. I think elections can be more fun than a bucket of snakes at a mongoose reunion. Even with all the negativity, the electio...
Here we are at Halloween again, munchkins begging for munchies while dancing along the street in quasi-Mardi Gras outfits. As a matter of fact, some may be coming for the second consecutive evening because of the occasion falling on a Sunday. I would really look forward to Halloween if I were allowed to hide behind the rosebush and leap out at the kids like a crazed mugger in Central Park. But my wife Saundra threatened to take away my tool box if I give in to my impulses. It’s a major disappointment in my life because I r...
In a little over a week, all this election mania will retreat to the apathy closet for another four years, with a few relatively unnoticed interruptions such as picking members of Congress and approving/disapproving various ballot initiatives. Politicians will go back to being cronies until the next regularly scheduled throat-slashing in 2008. Meanwhile, some of us will vote, and some non-voters will say, “It doesn’t matter what I think because the politicians will do whatever they want.” In reality, the only time that can h...
I don’t know how a person can sprain an ankle by accidentally poking a thumb into a reciprocating saw — I’ll have to ask Ed Miller about that because he’s an expert in such matters. However, I did figure out why the Earth is spherical. If our planet were flat like a Frisbee, canyons could not exist because people would fall through. As a master of the obvious, I can quite easily figure this out, but something else leaves me more confused than a dog at a flea circus: Why do people steal yard signs? I don’t understan...
I’ve been thinking about it and have arrived at the conclusion that people are quicker to complain than they are to praise. Why is this? Oh, I certainly do my share of bellyaching, but running my mouth about something positive sure makes me feel better than going on and on about some negative whatever. Besides, whatever its faults, some really nice things happen right here in Portales. The most impressive (to me anyway) are those that come from the efforts of like-minded people who get together to do something worthwhile. T...
Sometimes Don Criss dresses up like he’s George Washington. This does not necessarily mean Don is nuts, although that could amount to a matter of opinion. As Polonius would say, there is a method to his madness. Criss portrays people from American history for children. What better way to bring history to life for these young minds. Not only is Criss dedicated to doing good things like this (and many others), he happens to be a gifted teacher, actor and mimic. He is also a fine historian with an impressive memory. The r...
Those of us in this community who have remained reasonably close to consciousness realize an election will take place in November. But how many of us know about the one this Tuesday? Registered Portales citizens need to vote on this week’s alcohol issue. When I did my informal poll, I discovered that a lot of folks here in town didn’t even know about this municipal election. The measure we need to decide is if the city should issue licenses to restaurants that will allow them to sell beer and wine with meals. If the iss...
Once in a while, my wife Saundra and I decide to go out to dinner, usually on a Friday evening. As far as the food itself is concerned, I’m happy with a cheeseburger (chicken fried steak if I’m in a mood for something extravagant). Going out on the town isn’t just a matter of the food, though. We like to select a place a cut or two above truckstop chic. Sometimes dinner should be an occasion, not just a meal. This means a place with cloth napkins and bottles with corks. So I changed my socks, and off we went. The last time...
As anyone who knows me realizes, I am not the handiest fellow in the world. In the jungle of home repair and maintenance, my competence can be compared to that of a fairly intelligent orangutan with a broken wrist. In mathematics I’m still trying to master the concept of checkbooks and ATM numbers. (Forget fractions and figuring 15 percent restaurant tips.) In matters of practical relevance I have brought the meaning of incompetence to dizzying heights never before known to humankind. In the midst of all this incredible t...
Kathie, who always has a big smile and happy “hello” as she arranges carts in the front section of Wal-Mart, suggested a follow-up column on television commercials. Apparently she is just as weary of all the hype and greed dominating TV as I am. Kathie shares this frustration with many of us. On top of having to put up with all those commercials — and informercials on top of that — after we pay for cable or satellite, what happens if we actually order something advertised on TV? I suspect many of us do, because that’s...
How many of us have noticed the first thing to go haywire in a favorite coat is the zipper? Or is it just me? It happens with sweater zippers, too. Of course most of us don’t really concern ourselves with coats and sweaters this time of year — but I never claimed to be normal. Maybe I should take up basket weaving or something. In a time in which it is technologically possible to send some clown to Mars, why doesn’t something as commonplace as a coat zipper stand up to usage? I mean, how complicated can it be? Did cave men f...
Here we are rounding the first curve in yet another presidential race. It feels like they get closer and closer together each time. Every four years we have this uniquely American ritual in which the citizens have the chance to show they are in charge. Those who govern are hired and fired by the governed. Anybody who has ever picked up a history book or a newspaper should marvel at this peaceful transition of power. How many countries are home to four of their former chiefs of state? Notice I said chiefs of state, not heads...
While having coffee recently with my friend Don Criss, he casually mentioned the sad plight of the pernambuco tree. I instantly became alert, no small feat for a fellow with my attention span. Don always gets my attention because I learn so much from him — and it’s an opportunity to rip off his idea for this column. I once had an original thought, but it scared me. So I just capitalize on Don’s knowledge, and I’m convinced the man never forgets anything. What did I start off with? Oh yes, the pernambuco tree. Of course...
I know of three situations that call for automatic cussing: (1) snagging my nose in a band saw, (2) dropping a bowling ball on my left foot, and (3) installing a new kitchen faucet. On a scale of enjoyment, these activities rate somewhere between watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island and getting a tooth drilled. This should give some idea of the festivities taking place during a recent weekend. A wonderful time was had by all. Right. This time band saws and bowling balls did not enter the scene. It was the weekend of the d...
How many of us remember “pay TV?” Probably the closest ancestor to cable service, the concept of pay TV was simple: Subscribe for a small monthly fee to improve reception and get rid of commercials, maybe even get an uninterrupted movie now and then. The best part of it was getting rid of commercials. Not as many commercials interrupted shows back then, but we didn’t like them then any more than we like them now. Considering the level of programming these days, maybe the commercials are better than the shows — excluding PBS o...
A couple of weeks ago I attended a double event at Eastern New Mexico University. It was important enough to attract people wearing suits that probably cost more than our car. Thinking it wouldn’t be all that formal, I showed up in jeans and a T-shirt. After all, it was a Saturday. I would have felt out of place if people hadn’t gone out of their way to make me feel welcome. People with cameras jockeyed for good pictures while a lot of big shots stood around shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries. I wondered why I showed u...
Jim Lee: Guest Columnist Happy Fourth of July or, more accurately, happy Independence Day. This is one of only two holidays that come to mind commonly called the date it occurs rather than the event it commemorates. The other is, of course, Cinco de Mayo. How often do any of us refer to Independence Day? It’s always something like, “Have a good Fourth of July,” or “Don’t forget to buy a fifth on the third for the Fourth.” Maybe we call it by the date because it’s our country’s birthday, and birthdays are always remember...
