Serving Clovis, Portales and the Surrounding Communities
Serving Clovis, Portales and the Surrounding Communities
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Here are a few tidbits to prep you for today's 47th Super Bowl in New Orleans' Superdome: - Kick-off between the Baltimore Ravens and San Francisco 49ers is at 4:30 p.m. (MT) on CBS. It will be streamed on NFL.com and CBSSports.com. - Domino's, Pizza Hut and Papa John's will deliver approximately 5million pizzas. - The head coaches are brothers John (Ravens) and Jim (49ers) Harbaugh. - The halftime performer will be Beyonce in a reunion with Destiny's Child. Alicia Keys will sing the National Anthem. - Thirty-second ads will... Full story
Earth has 7 billion humans. Since modern Homo sapiens arrived around 55,000 B.C., approximately 110 billion have been born and more than 100 billion have died. How many of those do we remember today, and how did they die? Of course, far too many died in wars. Just a smattering include the estimated 100 million that died in World War I and II; up to 60 million in the Mongol Conquests of the 13th Century; up to 9 million in the Russian Civil War of 1917-21; up to 4 million in the French Wars of Religion from 1562-98. Then... Full story
Taking a cue from fellow columnist and Texas Rangers fan Kevin Wilson, today I'm scattershooting about Facebook. For peace and safety, friends Avis Jones, Ron Barker, Robert Patrick and I declared a unilateral, pre-election ceasefire on political posts. We did reserve the right to comment on others' posts. One poster cited a study that the average IQ of one party's members was 15-20 points higher, and sarcastically wondered why then was their vice president so much dumber than his. Avis commented, "Nah, it's just the general...
Willie wants to withdraw as VP on our Green Tea Party ticket. It's not that he thinks "The party of common sense that knows it doesn't know" can't win. With our anti-oxidant, pro-equal-rights agenda, he's afraid that we will. Then we'll have to deal with being commanders in chief, target of everyone's self-interest. We support balanced budgets, but will be blamed for decades of budget busting. If we don't start unaffordable wars, we'll be peacemongers — even though we both s...
A simple solution to prayers at taxpayer-funded events might be ones that admit what we don't know. That should offend everyone equally. This newspaper owns my words for 30 days, but after that feel free to use the following: "God, we do not know if you exist or in what form, but we doubt that you would approve of the ways you've been described. "We know that you are not vindictive enough to slaughter innocent women and children for the sins of men violating legalistic edicts attributed to you in ancient documents cobbled tog... Full story
Now that Willie Nelson and I have returned from tending his "garden party" in a South Texas forest, we are resuming our Green Tea Party candidacy. We lost track of time while my cousin, Chef Juandel, whipped up special treats from my running mate's garden. My other cousins, The Anglo Mariachi Cowboy and Bootlegger Sloan, joined us with peyote-seasoning and moonshine-cooking-sherry for Chef to work his magic. Under the influence of backwoods dining, Willie and I stumbled into the epiphany that we only need 11 votes to win. If... Full story
Unless an irate reader shortens it, I should have a few years left before I reach the recent milestone of Portales resident Web Smartnick. At least I thought that turning 80 was a milestone. "I never thought about reaching 80, until it happened. It was not much different from the others, except I realized I was getting old," he says matter-of-factly. Web, who has endured quadruple bypass, knee replacement and other surgeries, says, "I feel fine. I walk two miles, five days a week, mow our lawn and do other maintenance... Full story
Unless an irate reader shortens it, I should have a few years left before I reach the recent milestone of Portales resident Web Smartnick. At least I thought that turning 80 was a milestone. "I never thought about reaching 80, until it happened. It was not much different from the others, except I realized I was getting old," he says matter-of-factly. Web, who has endured quadruple bypass, knee replacement and other surgeries, says, "I feel fine. I walk two miles, five days a week, mow our lawn and do other maintenance... Full story
Scrolling though Facebook is like slogging through a third-world battleground. Rabid dogmatics attack their "enemies" with uninhibited slander and stereotypes. Faked images abound of politicians not placing their hand-over-heart during the National Anthem, wearing flag pins upside down, practicing "unpatriotic" religions or using drugs in "private"... Yet, after I research the hoaxes and post the truth, the ambushers defend themselves with counter-attacks like, "Well, that one may have been fake, but..." Do haters really...
Scrolling though Facebook is like slogging through a third-world battleground. Rabid dogmatics attack their "enemies" with uninhibited slander and stereotypes. Faked images abound of politicians not placing their hand-over-heart during the National Anthem, wearing flag pins upside down, practicing "unpatriotic" religions or using drugs in "private"... Yet, after I research the hoaxes and post the truth, the ambushers defend themselves with counter-attacks like, "Well, that one may have been fake, but..." Do haters really...
A friend who teaches high school and college in neighboring Texas towns as conservative as the High Plains surprised me with his views on gay marriage. The Republican/Libertarian, who requested anonymity, says, "Government has no business in religious marriages. It is up to churches who can wed in their facilities. "Government's responsibility is to recognize contracts between adults. That ensures equal rights for everyone. "That should end the debate about the morality of gay marriage because each church can define marriage... Full story
I recently visited a 64-year-old divorced father of three in his North Dallas apartment. Through a mutual friend, I'd known him for a decade. Despite health problems, partly caused by alcohol and cigarettes, he was always kind and cordial to me and, more importantly, to our friend who needed a supportive friend in Dallas — and vice versa. A week after our visit, he died while watching TV alone. Even his beloved cat had disappeared a few days before. Thinking he was sleeping, his daughter discovered him in a chair. After h...
I read on Yahoo (so it must be true) that it's OK to exaggerate or be a little outrageous to get people's attention at parties. I don't remember the icebreakers, but here are a few of my own to guarantee a lasting impression. "Your hair has a real sheen. You must be a scuba diver." "You look very athletic. In fact, you remind me of someone who blocked three of my shots." "Just think by comparison how good you'll look next to me." "Did you leave any appetizers for me?" "You must live here? You couldn't possibly have been...
I read on Yahoo (so it must be true) that it's OK to exaggerate or be a little outrageous to get people's attention at parties. I don't remember the icebreakers, but here are a few of my own to guarantee a lasting impression. "Your hair has a real sheen. You must be a scuba diver." "You look very athletic. In fact, you remind me of someone who blocked three of my shots." "Just think by comparison how good you'll look next to me." "Did you leave any appetizers for me?" "You must live here? You couldn't possibly have been... Full story
Scientists estimate that there are 300 sextillion (300,000,000,000,000,000,000,000) stars in the 14-billion-year-old universe — which, because of expansion, is approximately 158 billion light years across. There are potentially trillions of planets orbiting these stars — many of them billions of years older than our sun, allowing time for the evolution of complex life. Extraterrestrial civilizations may well have developed spacecraft. However, considering that the nearest star, Proxima Centauri, is 270,000 times farther tha... Full story
While recently in Waco, Texas, I met Chuck Rose, a 55-year-old homeless man. Despite an accounting degree from Northern Illinois University, he worked as an auto mechanic. At 21, he married high school sweetheart Melody — a future OBGYN doctor. They owned a nice house, cars and motorcycles. Chuck's downward spiral began when Melody, 27, was coming home from work, blew a tire and rolled her Mercedes 357 — killing her and their unborn son. "I was completely brokenhearted, and went ballistic," says Chuck. "After that, I met a d... Full story
While recently in Waco, Texas, I met Chuck Rose, a 55-year-old homeless man. Despite an accounting degree from Northern Illinois University, he worked as an auto mechanic. At 21, he married high school sweetheart Melody — a future OBGYN doctor. They owned a nice house, cars and motorcycles. Chuck's downward spiral began when Melody, 27, was coming home from work, blew a tire and rolled her Mercedes 357 — killing her and their unborn son. "I was completely brokenhearted, and went ballistic," says Chuck. "After that, I met a d... Full story
Here are more excerpts from my dad's 1940s letters to my mom in Mt. Vernon, Texas, when he had to live in distant cities for carpentry jobs to support their existing kids (eventually six). "July 9, 1944, Orange, Tex." "Dearest Wife — I am sitting here on Sunday night and I thought I would drop you a line as I am sorta lonesome…I have been here a week and it seems like a month. "This is the ungodliest place I have been. There are more honkeytonks, beer joints and whisky stores than any place I ever saw and more drunk peo...
Here are more excerpts from my dad's 1940s letters to my mom in Mt. Vernon, Texas, when he had to live in distant cities for carpentry jobs to support their existing kids (eventually six). "July 9, 1944, Orange, Tex." "Dearest Wife — I am sitting here on Sunday night and I thought I would drop you a line as I am sorta lonesome…I have been here a week and it seems like a month. "This is the ungodliest place I have been. There are more honkeytonks, beer joints and whisky stores than any place I ever saw and more drunk peo...
A niece, Carol Meeking from Dallas, has been emailing my five siblings and me photos, letters, news clippings, sermons, etc., dating back more than a century from my late mother's keepsakes. Until I saw the pencil-scribbled letters on lined paper from my sixth-grade-educated dad to my ninth-grade-educated mom, I didn't appreciate Guy and Faye Sloan's great love affair. The 1940s letters also reveal my carpenter father's sly wit. Here are excerpts from when my dad had to work in distant cities to support some of their...
A niece, Carol Meeking from Dallas, has been emailing my five siblings and me photos, letters, news clippings, sermons, etc., dating back more than a century from my late mother's keepsakes. Until I saw the pencil-scribbled letters on lined paper from my sixth-grade-educated dad to my ninth-grade-educated mom, I didn't appreciate Guy and Faye Sloan's great love affair. The 1940s letters also reveal my carpenter father's sly wit. Here are excerpts from when my dad had to work in distant cities to support some of their...
Since my fourth deviated septum/sinus surgery is scheduled for this Thursday in Fort Worth, Texas, it seems like a good time to write my preferred obituary. "After holding a blender too near his pacemaker, Wendel Sloan, 120, passed out for good yesterday at a Jimmy Buffett concert." "The world's oldest parrothead still owed $500,000 on his $500,000 Lamborghini, $7 million on his $7 million mansion and $9 million on his $9 million yacht. "His Rangers' World-Series-winning grand slam home-run baseball, Cowboys'...
Since my fourth deviated septum/sinus surgery is scheduled for this Thursday in Fort Worth, it seems like a good time to write my preferred obituary. "After holding a blender too near his pacemaker, Wendel Sloan, 120, passed out for good yesterday at a Jimmy Buffett concert." "The world's oldest parrothead still owed $500,000 on his $500,000 Lamborghini, $7 million on his $7 million mansion and $9 million on his $9 million yacht. "His Rangers' World-Series-winning grand slam home-run baseball, Cowboys' Super-Bowl-winning... Full story
Although not a diehard parrothead, I have attended 12 Jimmy Buffet concerts. The first, an audition at East Texas State, was free. Later, 12 of us paid 25 cents to see him at the university's coffee shop. Afterward, we joined him for root beers at a local speakeasy. I have since worn tropical clothing and paid $75 TO $125 to see him perform before 20,000. At one outdoor show, some swimsuit-clad fans managed to fill and splash in a large wading pool. I don't like every Buffett song, but I often respond with my favorite... Full story
As we recently sat on the balcony of his rented condo overlooking Lake Conroe near Houston, my brother and lifelong Republican Bud Sloan surprised me by saying that he was now an Indepen-dent. I asked why. "Social issues mostly," he said. "Also an erosion of some of our basic freedoms under the Bush administration. I think the greatest threat to the kind of America in which I want to live is the 'Religious Right' telling me how to live. They profess to value freedom of religion, but the only religious freedom they are...
