Serving Clovis, Portales and the Surrounding Communities
Serving Clovis, Portales and the Surrounding Communities
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As we recently sat on the balcony of his rented condo overlooking Lake Conroe near Houston, my brother and lifelong Republican Bud Sloan surprised me by saying that he was now an Independent. I asked why. "Social issues mostly," he said. "Also an erosion of some of our basic freedoms under the Bush administration. I think the greatest threat to the kind of America in which I want to live is the 'Religious Right' telling me how to live. They profess to value freedom of religion, but the only religious freedom they are...
After being traded from the Los Angeles Lakers, Lamar Odom was roundly criticized for his lackluster performance with the Dallas Mavericks this year. During the off-season, Odom's very close 24-year-old cousin died, and he was a passenger in an SUV that killed a teenage cyclist. Odom partly attributed his sub-par performance to depression. Although his claims were generally ignored, I paid attention. Even with an $8.9 million salary, depression makes everything meaningless...
After being traded from the Los Angeles Lakers, Lamar Odom was roundly criticized for his lackluster performance with the Dallas Mavericks this year. During the off-season, Odom's very close 24-year-old cousin died, and he was a passenger in an SUV that killed a teenage cyclist. Odom partly attributed his sub-par performance to depression. Although his claims were generally ignored, I paid attention. Even with an $8.9 million salary, depression makes everything meaningless — including professional basketball. At times, e...
With commencement season under way on the High Plains, it's time for my annual realistic advice to new graduates. Despite speakers orating high-falutin' words about achieving your dreams, most of you will achieve them only through downsizing. This is where I can help (since I've been downsizing my dreams since moving to Portales in 1982). My most important advice is to become a hunter and gatherer of aluminum cans. This will provide a steady income for life's essentials — Scotchgard, tarps, duct tape and matches. Since you w...
With commencement season under way on the High Plains, it's time for my annual realistic advice to new graduates. Despite speakers orating high-falutin' words about achieving your dreams, most of you will achieve them only through downsizing. This is where I can help (since I've been downsizing my dreams since moving to Portales in 1982). My most important advice is to become a hunter and gatherer of aluminum cans. This will provide a steady income for life's essentials — Scotchgard, tarps, duct tape and matches. Since you w...
Contrary to popular opinion, I am a "believer." I believe: - If putting from 50 yards off the green becomes prohibited, I will stop golfing. - Most politicians and party members bear little resemblance to their stereotypes. - People from all parties are equally compassionate about individuals. - One party seems louder in questioning their opponents' patriotism. If you think that it might be yours, it probably is. - Two out of three good-old-boys who paint their opponents as bleeding-heart pansies would probably get their...
Contrary to popular opinion, I am a "believer." I believe: - If putting from 50 yards off the green becomes prohibited, I will stop golfing. - Most politicians and party members bear little resemblance to their stereotypes. - People from all parties are equally compassionate about individuals. - One party seems louder in questioning their opponents' patriotism. If you think that it might be yours, it probably is. - Two out of three good-old-boys who paint their opponents as bleeding-heart pansies would probably get their...
During my biennial spring cleaning, I unearthed concert ticket stubs carbon-dated to the 70s. Although I was there, I don't remember some. Others are indelible. At Eric Clapton's 2004 Crossroads Guitar Festival in Dallas, I saw Clapton, Santana, Jeff Beck, Joe Walsh, John Mayer, Buddy Guy, James Taylor, Pat Metheny, Bo Diddley, ZZ Top, Booker T & the MGs, Robert Cray, B.B. King and many others. My most lasting memory, besides women in bikinis, was the vintage guitar exhibit featuring Clapton's "Layla," Harrison's "While My...
During my biennial spring cleaning, I unearthed concert ticket stubs carbon-dated to the 70s. Although I was there, I don't remember some. Others are indelible. At Eric Clapton's 2004 Crossroads Guitar Festival in Dallas, I saw Clapton, Santana, Jeff Beck, Joe Walsh, John Mayer, Buddy Guy, James Taylor, Pat Metheny, Bo Diddley, ZZ Top, Booker T & the MGs, Robert Cray, B.B. King and many others. My most lasting memory, besides women in bikinis, was the vintage guitar exhibit featuring Clapton's "Layla," Harrison's "While My...
During my biennial spring cleaning, I unearthed concert ticket stubs carbon-dated to the 70s. Although I was there, I don't remember some. Others are indelible. At Eric Clapton's 2004 Crossroads Guitar Festival in Dallas, I saw Clapton, Santana, Jeff Beck, Joe Walsh, John Mayer, Buddy Guy, James Taylor, Pat Metheny, Bo Diddley, ZZ Top, Booker T & the MGs, Robert Cray, B.B. King and many others. My most lasting memory, besides women in bikinis, was the vintage guitar exhibit featuring Clapton's "Layla," Harrison's "While My...
Don't panic if you forgot my birthday today; you've still got time to shop. You can order tickets online from the Texas Rangers, Dallas Mavericks, Dallas Cowboys or a gift certificate from HairClub. I can always use a new basketball, tennis racquet or fairway putter. Speaking of, thank you to Doc Elder, Jay Kline, Ted Fares, Larry Smith, Chris Beaty, and Kenny and Kelsey Prince for taking me golfing in Clovis. If you consider me zealous about not walking the straight and narrow, you can gift me with books by Joel Osteen, Benn...
Don't panic if you forgot my birthday today; you've still got time to shop. You can order tickets online from the Texas Rangers, Dallas Mavericks, Dallas Cowboys or a gift certificate from HairClub. I can always use a new basketball, tennis racquet or fairway putter. Speaking of, thank you to Doc Elder, Jay Kline, Ted Fares, Larry Smith, Chris Beaty, and Kenny and Kelsey Prince for taking me golfing in Clovis. If you consider me zealous about not walking the straight and narrow, you can gift me with books by Joel Osteen, Benn...
I cannot help you understand Wall Street; combustion engines; electricity; aerodynamics; architecture; television signals; operating backhoes; fracturing for oil; tax deductions; great art; open-heart surgery; washing machines, computers and digital cameras; genetic-engineered crops; crooked cops; relativity; why traffic signals cost so much; violent criminals; making jokes about speech impediments; hating gays and immigrants; acting arrogant about inherited abilities and...
I cannot help you understand Wall Street; combustion engines; electricity; aerodynamics; architecture; television signals; operating backhoes; fracturing for oil; tax deductions; great art; open-heart surgery; washing machines, computers and digital cameras; genetic-engineered crops; crooked cops; relativity; why traffic signals cost so much; violent criminals; making jokes about speech impediments; hating gays and immigrants; acting arrogant about inherited abilities and...
It would be disingenuous to pretend that I'm never shallow. When the Cowboys are not on "Monday Night Football," I watch "How I Met Your Mother," "2 Broke Girls" and "Two and One-Half Men." But then I get irritated at how attractive, witty and well-paid everyone is — so I pick up a book. Reading about others' tragic lives and deaths, and sarcastic comments, cheers me up. Examples: "If you could put the Mount Wilson telescope inside the Mount Palomar telescope, you still c...
Unprecedented, and possibly illegal, I'm running as a write-in candidate for mayor of Clovis and Portales. I live in Portales, but have spent enough time at Clovis golf courses, Jeff Naggs' dental office and Webb's Watering Hole for dual citizenship. I will debate myself on my dual-hamlet stimulus plans anytime, anywhere. With a horse-drawn carriage sloshing through city streets after a rare rain, we will market Portales as "The Venice of the High Plains." Thanks to Greene Acres Lake's gale-force winds, we will promote...
