the attack of the giant ob-words

Gary Mitchell and Amos

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, unable to use the keyboard shift keys and unschooled in the art of punctuation.

last night boss i woke up

with a terrible nightmare

as always i was being

pursued by the hideous

menacing marcellus the cat

with no hesitation at all i

scampered up the broom

to the top of the kitchen

counter darted past the

sink and poised myself

at the edge of the other

side of the counter

muttering a hurried prayer i

dived off the counter s edge

right into the gaping pages

of the world s largest

webster s dictionary

in fact boss i landed in the

middle of the -o-words

ow says me as i fell in a

heap on my crumpled tail

suddenly the ob-letters

came alive and lept off

the page at me boss i

stared in disbelief at the

parade of hostile words

before me

get off of our page says

the word -obnoxious- who

was scowling at me - or

we ll cast you head over

heels into oblivion

you may appear to be

somewhat oblong or

even obpyriform - that

means inversely pear-

shaped boss i found

out later - but i m quite

sure that you don t

belong here on this

page of life

the word -obtrude-

thrust himself at me

and says you re an

obstruction to us

yes go away and leave

us alone says the

word -obstinate-

who continued to yell

at me along with the

word -obstreperous-

who was particularly

vociferous boss

but i come in peace

from the world outside

says me i can help you

and teach you life

beyond the printed page

don t you see

no says -obstinate-

along with -obstruction-

and -obstacle- who mostly

got in the way

we don t want your kind

around here go away and

don t ever come back

another day

boss the whole group was

orchestrated by the word

-obscurant- which means

someone who strives to

prevent the increase and

spread of knowledge

i object says the word

-objection- you words are

becoming obsolete and

oblivious to the real world

listen to the little gray

mouse-word

then the word -objurate-

which means to reproach

or denounce vehemently -

stood up and screamed

at the other words -

your obsession with your

own little page of life

will ultimately lead to a

lifetime of obstipation

and eventually obliteration

and you know what boss

he was right - not only for

words on a page but for

creatures of god s grace

we should never be so

narrow-minded as to

shut out another s

point of view or reject

someone just because

he s not exactly like you

amos