amos the church mouse

Gary Mitchell: Amos

Editor’s note: Amos is a church mouse, who types by hurling himself at the keys but he can’t use the capital shift keys and he shuns punctuation marks – except for hyphens and dashes.

amendments to solomon s proverbs

boss i ve run across

some quippy sayings

compiled by perry

tanksley some of them

particularly relate to

the church pew

underworld and i just had

to share them with you

for example one adage

states that some

church members have

faces long enough to

make a mule jealous

and here are some notes

on cooperation

so we plow along

said the fly to the ox

boy we sure shook that

bridge said the mouse

to the elephant

let s not be stepping on

each other said the flea

to the dog

samuel johnson once said

he was dull in a new way

and that made many think

him great

someone once quipped that

adam was the only

indispensable man in history

a great many people - like

cats - lick themselves

with their own tongues

a fish could stay out of

trouble if it could keep

its mouth closed

as frank hubbard once said

why doesn t the fellow who

says - i m no speech maker -

let it go at that instead of

giving a demonstration

on the subject of religion

lyman abbot once said

religion is the life of god

in the soul of man

c s lewis once suggested

that everyone says forgiveness

is a lovely idea until they have

something to forgive

people green with envy are

ripe for trouble

one of my favorite writers

boss is james thurber who

once described an acquaintance -

while he was not dumber than

an ox he was not any smarter

some people suppose they

have a clear conscience

when actually they have a

poor memory

one is either a second-mile

christian or else he is a

second-rate christian

the bible says to bear

one another s burden

not to bear down on them

charles spurgeon once advised

young ministers in training -

learn to say - no - it will be

of more use to you than to be

able to read latin

fred beck says you can t build a

church with stumbling blocks

it s far better to be alone

than in bad company

and boss i especially like

george eliot s remark -

animals are such agreeable

friends they ask no questions

they pass no criticisms

billy sunday had good advice

to husbands for their wives -

try praising your wife even if

it does frighten her at first

and to conclude this episode

on quotable quotes boss i call

upon the wit of robert benchley

who once remarked - drawing

on my fine command of language

i said nothing

amos