Time waits for no man (or woman

(Editor’s Note: WARNING—The following column may produce symptoms of depression and queasy stomachs and should not be taken lightly by people over the age of 60. Old news reporters are also advised to avoid alcohol after consuming.)

There is definitely too much time slipping through our fingers these days — you’d think Mr. Bush would do something about it — and if you don’t believe it, ask loyal readers Pat and Ed Watson of Portales who sent me a list of lady celebrities and their ages. In a side note Pat asked: “How’s this for depressing?”

Of course Ed, who is a tried and true Southerner and never gets depressed, would have none of it. Instead, he said, “Here’s a toast to all the girls we’ve loved before.”

So here’s that list of celebrities with their ages. Read ’em and weep, or cheer, whatever:

• Brigette Bardot, 71

• Stella Stevens, 68

• Sophia Loren, 71

• Gina Lollobrigida, 78

• Joan Leslie, 81

• Deborah Kerr, 94

• Lena Horne, 88

• Kay Starr, 83

• Patti Page, 78

• Annette Funicello, 63

• Barbara Eden, 71

• Angie Dickenson, 74

• Doris Day, 81

• Joan Collins, 72

• Julie Christie, 64

• Leslie Caron, 74

• Carroll Baker, 74

• Debra Padget, 72

• Julie Andrews, 70

• Ursula Andress, 69

• Rita Moreno, 74

• Jean Simmons, 76

• Kim Novak, 72

• Jane Powell, 76

• Debbie Reynolds, 73

• Shirley Temple, 77

• Jane Russell, 84

• Kathryn Grayson, 83

v Esther Williams, 82

• Elke Sommer, 65

• Jill St. John, 65

• Liz Taylor, 73

• Mamie Van Doren, 74

Next week we’ll look at ages of male celebrities, if someone sends them to me.