A view from under the pew: amos fights his self-image

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift keys, and he shuns punctuation marks – except dashes and hyphens.

yesterday boss i struggled

to get out of my little

matchbox bed and when i

finally made it to the kitchen

sink to wash up I was in

for a rude awakening

someone had left a little

purple-and-pink-trimmed

hand mirror on the sink s edge

because i was watching

the edge so i wouldn t

fall in i didn t see the

hand mirror lying there

and i tripped over the

purple-and-pink trim

sprawling on my chubby

face and roley-poley

tummy my just-washed

whiskers got crumpled

and my tail dangled

awkwardly over the mirror

it was an ugly sight boss -

ugly in capital letters here -

it was one of those rare

moments when i came

face-to-face with myself

and i came to the realization

that i looked more like a

candidate for the bugtussle

sewer brigade than for the

mousy who s who of

famous hack poetry

what a miserable specimen

of mousedom was i - i stared

at the hairy lumpy mass

that was me and i moaned

painfully - look at me this

can t be - frankenstein has

handsomer features than

me - oh woe is me - i wish

i were a tree or a ship on the

sea - anything but me

just then my best friend

freddie flea hopped

joyously by