My Turn: Certainties in life are few

Nothing is certain in life but death and taxes.

Let’s not forget tax increases as well.

Let’s also add rising gas prices to the list, especially with the upcoming summer driving season.

Death and taxes. Such heartwarming subjects.

Did I mention Thursday is tax deadline day? That means no excuses — extensions perhaps — but no excuses.

For you procrastinators, extension requests also have to be signed in blood.

Death and taxes. Such heartwarming topics.

If death is inevitable, why pay taxes? Tell that to Uncle Sam.

As I ponder these cheerful subjects, I’m prone to think, surely there must be other things in life that are certain. Let’s see:

• Surely the sun will rise tomorrow, but then again, can we be absolutely certain?

• If the sun does rise, it will certainly rise in the east and set in the west.

• College tuition rates will increase. I’m 101 percent certain about that.

• NBC officials will fire Jay Leno again for more bad jokes about their ratings, but then they’ll realize they need his bad ratings jokes to keep up their ratings

• TV executives will finally realize there’s a new late night show garnering ratings, Lopez Tonight.

• I will be here again next week … maybe …

Helena Rodriguez is a freelance writer and English instructor. She can be reached at: [email protected]