a view from under the pew: the great aphid rodeo

amos the churchmouse:

a view from under the pew

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks – except hyphens and dashes.

the great aphid rodeo

boss i m sure you ve

noticed the big doings

here in the church pew

underworld

i m sure you ve seen

all the little bugs and

field mice dressed

in their little chaps

spurs and bandanas

it s bugtussle s biggest

celebration of the year -

the great aphid rodeo

in conjunction with

oldtimer bug days

we ve got banners

across the alleyways

and all the bugtussle

merchants offer special

discounts to cowboy

ants and military bugs

all the cowboy ants

and dairy ants come

to town for the aphid

rodeo each year

during the year cowboy

ants herd the aphids and

other plant lice from plant

farm to plant farm and the

dairy ants milk the aphids

for a sugary liquid called

honeydew - the aphids suck

juices from plants and the

dairy ants stroke or milk

the aphids with their

antennae to get them to

release the honeydew -

but i m sure you already

knew that boss

the cowboy ants protect

their herds of aphids by

fighting off any other

bugs or insects that

threaten the herd

at any rate the great

aphid rodeo is a big

deal in the underworld

territory

some of the favorite

events at the aphid

rodeo are the bucking

flea hoppers and the

wild aphid milking

contest even some of

the local merchant ants

try their antennae at it

other special events are

the plant lice wrestling

event and the baby aphid

stroking - it takes real

skill to do those boss -

you have to have a lot of

strength for the first one

and pretty quick antennae

for the second

but the most exciting

event is the bull aphid

riding event - those

bull aphids are bred

just for rodeo and

fighting purposes - no

self-respecting ant

would ever try to milk

a bull aphid boss

i met a cowboy ant

who works as a rodeo

clown - bull aphid fighter

the other day

the objective is to

keep the cowboy ant

safe says eddie the

clown ant i m always

willing to take a shot

for any cowboy ant

aren t you afraid when

you go in the arena

says me

every day i have a close

experience with the

bull aphids says he i ve

had broken ribs and a lung

punctured but the lord has

protected me through it all

i just claim psalms thirty-

four verse four before i go

into the arena - i sought

the lord and he heard me

and delivered me from

all my fears

boss if it were me he would

need to deliver me from

my occupation

amos