Military mama: There is no ‘us vs. them’

I always try to make the best of each situation wherever I am in life, because, quite frankly, it’s a choice to enjoy myself or not. I would like to take a moment to get a little serious about the amount of complaining that is occurring about this particular duty station.

We live in a rural community. It is unfortunate that the commute to what would be considered a large city is significant. However, no amount of whining will physically relocate an entire city.

Lately, I have seen a great deal of conflict arise between the ‘locals’ and the ‘spouses’ and would just like to put out a little reminder.

We go where we are told, that is one of the perks and problems with being in (or married to) the military. But what we must all realize is that regardless of our personal opinions of our location, there are a great many people who choose to live here. Many were raised here, and many choose to retire here. When we berate the accommodations this community offers we are indeed offending the people who have chosen to call this city and the surrounding areas home.

I doubt it’s intentional, and venting frustrations can be healthy, but we just need to remember to be courteous because we are representing the Air Force community.

Think about it this way: You have been invited to a dinner party at a restaurant that isn’t your personal favorite but you feel obligated to go. You can show up and find something to like about the evening — maybe it’s an appetizer, maybe a drink or maybe just the social aspect. Or you can attend, keep close to your loved one and when you put in your time move on to the next event. However, I am finding that many people invited to this ‘party’ are choosing neither of these options.

Rather, in this hypothetical party, the attendees walk in and loudly discuss the awful decor. The menu is pathetic compared to the other fabulous restaurants. The service is terrible. Blah, blah, blah. Pretty soon, after much ranting, they begin to notice dirty looks. Because, this restaurant may not be your cup of tea. But when you look around, the restaurant is full of people paying good money to be there, it may even be their personal favorite. You belittle their preference, and they are now judging you because of your own bad behavior.

I know this isn’t a perfect example, but truly, I can’t imagine anyone walking into someone’s home and picking it apart piece by piece for all of the things that are not up to par. These are not Neanderthals without fire, these are just small-town folks that like it that way.

Our words have weight. There is no need for us to create a dividing line where local people feel they are constantly under attack. There is no “us vs. them.” If you are unhappy in your situation, be proactive. Figure out a way to make the community better. Take action, but please don’t be inconsiderate enough to keep ranting through the dinner party.