amos the churchmouse: pastor leroy and his bulletin bloopers

amos the churchmouse:

a view from under the pew

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks – except hyphens and dashes.

pastor leroy and his bulletin bloopers

boss pastor leroy beetle

has been having some

difficulty with the

english language in

communicating church news

to his constituents through

the weekly church bulletin

it seems he keeps a

perpetual employment

notice in the newspaper

for a competent church

secretary boss

he hasn t had much luck

with the ones who have

come to work for him

his first secretary

bertha bedbug just had

problems expressing

ideas well

for example her first

bulletin note had the

following notice -

our next song is angels

we have heard get high -

a little farther into the

bulletin bertha offered

the following suggestions -

don t let worry kill you

let the church help -

and this admonition for

prayer -

remember in prayer the many

who are sick of our church

and community -

bertha didn t stay long

as church secretary boss

she was replaced by a

rather insensitive creature

tammi toad

tammi s first bulletin

sprouted this gem -

for those of you who have

children and don t know it

we have a nursery downstairs -

and this one as well -

weight watchers will meet at

seven p m at the first

presbyterian church please

use the large double door

at the side entrance -

next came along rhonda

rabbit who seemed to be

preoccupied with children

here is one of her tributes -

the rosebud on the altar this

morning is to announce the birth

of david alan belzer the sin of

rev and mrs julius belzer -

that one was followed quickly

with this one -

this afternoon there will be a

meeting in the south and north

ends of the church children will

be baptized at both ends -

but boss probably the most

embarrassing of the bunch

came from polly purebug

here are some of her classics -

tuesday at four p m there will

be an ice cream social