Group offers divorce support

Laqueda Chaves once attended a class to get through a painful divorce. She now leads the class that put her on the road to recovery.

PNT staff photo: Christina Calloway

Divorce Care group leader Laqueda Chaves, left, and group member Ray Breton, right, discuss a video the group viewed covering the emotion of anger that comes out of divorce.

Chaves, 49, said her first classes with the Divorce Care support group in February 2009 were tough.

"You're embarrassed because divorce is hard and you don't want everybody to know," said Chaves, a member of First United Methodist Church, the church that hosts the group.

"You're ashamed that you're getting a divorce when you think you're going to be married forever."

After a few classes, Chaves said she found a strong support system, a place where one could openly talk, cry and vent without being judged or ridiculed. Chaves started leading the class around January 2011 and said she enjoys providing others the help and support she once received.

According to Chaves, Divorce Care classes typically have between five to eight people and consist of a 30-minute video and discussion of the past week. Group members follow along in a workbook while watching the video and also complete 10 to 15 minutes of homework each day.

Chaves said the class covers all aspects of a divorce. She said sessions have no time limit and usually last longer if someone has had a rough week. The class lasts 13 weeks. Each week deals with a new topic such as anger, depression, loneliness, forgiveness, single sexuality and financial survival. One can start attending classes at any time.

Chaves said her ex-husband left her for another woman after being married for around 16 years. She said there was no indication that a divorce was coming.

"I was really heartbroken, depressed, scared, shocked, numb; all these emotions are going through you," said Chaves, who has remains single and is raising a 16-year-old daughter. "The main thing about Divorce Care that I try to get out to everybody is that it's painful right now and you think your life is over but with time and God and this class, there is definitely hope again and life again and peace again."

Michael Massey said he attended Divorce Care in spring 2011 while going through a divorce he did not choose after 25 years of marriage.

"It was painful after 25 years and I needed a support group that could provide emotional support and help to get through that," Massey said.

Massey said the program gave him the emotional and mental tools to be able to handle the pain of his divorce.

"I wouldn't say anyone is ever completely healed after a divorce but it enabled me to move forward in life and deal with those emotions," Massey said.

Massey said without attending the program his divorce would have been much more difficult. He plans to visit the group to share what he learned with others dealing with a divorce.

What: Divorce Care

When: 6 p.m. Wednesdays

Where: First United Methodist Church, 200 South Ave. C

Cost: Free

Who can attend: Anyone dealing with a divorce or a separation.

Information: Laqueda Chaves, 607-5861