My turn: Downsized dreams easily attained

With commencement season under way on the High Plains, it's time for my annual realistic advice to new graduates.

Despite speakers orating high-falutin' words about achieving your dreams, most of you will achieve them only through downsizing.

This is where I can help (since I've been downsizing my dreams since moving to Portales in 1982).

My most important advice is to become a hunter and gatherer of aluminum cans. This will provide a steady income for life's essentials — Scotchgard, tarps, duct tape and matches.

Since you will be Dumpster-diving behind Chili's, Cattle Baron, Furr's, Taco Box, Applebee's, etc., I highly recommend Scotchgarding your clothes. This will protect against all kinds of stains.

The tarps will provide nice canopied shade at your new home at Rotary or Ned Houk Park, and can double as sleeping bags at night for you and other recent graduates.

With the area's gale-force winds, you will need a lot of duct tape to patch up the tarps.

The matches, with resumes as kindling, will come in handy for Dumpster fires to stay warm in the winter — and heat up discarded specials-of-the-day.

You will also find that area colleges are less than diligent about checking IDs at orientation buffets — especially if you are wearing one of your alma mater's shirts.

Be sure and duct-tape over any Dumpster tears or stains.

If it's not your alma mater, simply duct-tape the school's logo on your Goodwill shirt.

Contact Wendel Sloan at [email protected]