Buffet's songs always fit bill

Although not a diehard parrothead, I have attended 12 Jimmy Buffet concerts.

The first, an audition at East Texas State, was free. Later, 12 of us paid 25 cents to see him at the university's coffee shop. Afterward, we joined him for root beers at a local speakeasy.

I have since worn tropical clothing and paid $75 TO $125 to see him perform before 20,000. At one outdoor show, some swimsuit-clad fans managed to fill and splash in a large wading pool.

I don't like every Buffett song, but I often respond with my favorite titles.

What are you doing? "Havana Daydreaming."

Are you vacationing? "When the Coast is Clear."

How will you know? "On the Coconut Telegraph."

Who else is going? "Beautiful Swimmers."

Where are y'all staying? "One Particular Harbour."

Who else knows? "The Wino and I Know."

Why are you going? I have "A Lot to Drink About."

What will you eat? "Cheese-burger in Paradise" with "Boat Drinks."

Are you licensed for sailing? I'm a "Son of a Son of a Sailor" with a "License to Chill."

What else will y'all be doing: "Quietly Making Noise" while "Surfing on a Hurricane."

When will you return? "Come Monday."

How's the weather there? "The Weather is Here; I Wish You Were Beautiful."

Why didn't you invite me? "If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me."

What! "Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On."

Wendel Sloan, sick of "Margaritaville," thought writing this was "Nothing But a Breeze." Contact: [email protected]