No such thing as free baseball

Somebody teaches you early, and life gives you constant reminders, is that there's no such thing as a free lunch ... or much of anything else.

But given the chance for free baseball, I somehow forget everything I've ever learned.

To set up the story, I was in Albuquerque over the weekend for a wedding. Out of respect for the couple, the only detail I'll add is that it wasn't mine. I got a surprise Monday scheduled off, meaning I just needed to book an extra hotel night and make a weekend of it.

The Albuquerque Isotopes were in the middle of a four-game homestand; it was 5:32, and I figured I could just make the 6:05 p.m. Sunday first pitch if traffic cooperated.

It did, and I threw down the credit card and said, "Best seat available." I had no idea how good the seat was, because within two minutes of sitting down, the gentleman right next to me handed me a pair of tickets for the 7:05 p.m. Monday game. Out of respect for him, I'll only note that he needed to head out of town and they were comped tickets he'd have been in huge trouble had he attempted to sell them.

I had planned to come back home Monday afternoon following lunch with a friend ... but this was free baseball. Time I had budgeted for driving home got pushed back about eight hours, and I spent the afternoon killing time and texted any friend I could think of to join me for the game. I had two fears:

• Nobody would be able to attend the game.
• Multiple people would be able to attend the game, and I would unintentionally lead two people on. I'd then be obligated to buy a ticket for them, and the baseball is no longer free.

Turned out nobody responded to my text messages, and I ended up with an empty seat next to myself. Fortunately, the row behind me had a pair of older gentlemen, Paul and "Moose" — I'm unsure if that was a real name, and I had no need to know for sure. They had also managed a free pair of tickets, as their friend had season tickets.

Both nights, I got to talk baseball from different perspectives, from younger fans who were experiencing their first baseball to "Moose," who told me about how great it was to see Sandy Koufax pitch.

I left the stadium around 9:15, with the Isotopes up 11-4 and "Sweet Caroline" playing.

As I battled fatigue while driving east on I-40, and the cell phone finally erupted with reply texts from the people I'd messaged all day, I added up the extra money I ended up spending sticking around for the game.

In all:

• $10 for a restaurant to kill time and use wifi.
• $7.50 for an afternoon matinee of "Prometheus" (quick review: Imagine if Stanley Kubrick had made "Alien").
• $5 for parking: It's amazing to see how a for-profit baseball club can end up controlling so many public parking facilities.
• $6 for food (thanks in large part to 50-cent hot dog night).

All told, about $30 — oddly enough, the face value of the tickets I was handed. So I guess there's no such thing as free baseball.

That doesn't mean I won't stop looking.

Kevin Wilson is a columnist for Clovis Media Inc. He can be contacted at 763-3431, ext. 313, or by email:

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