The Spouse Briefs: Commissary place for community

My first memories of life took place on the coast of Florida when my father was stationed at Patrick Air Force Base. I had never heard or used the term grocery store. What I knew was that food came from the commissary.

Back in those days the commissary was a different place. There were strict rules about what direction you could go down an aisle. In addition, if you needed more than one cart, there was a designated parking spot for full carts in front of the meat cooler. When you were done, everybody stood in a big line and waited for the next available cashier. I thought every place that sold groceries had baggers that you tipped and used special carts. In fact it was a shock to me the first time I went to a regular grocery store. It seemed so foreign.

First and foremost the clientele was different and the sense of close community was gone. I missed seeing the service members in uniform and retiree couples. For years afterwards, I went to regular grocery stores and didn't think twice about the commissary. I thought my life tied to the Air Force was done. Walking into a commissary after my husband joined the Air Force felt like coming home. It was familiar ground I had trod for the first 20 years of my life. People came to know me as I dragged my kids there each week. The world seemed more at ease as I walked down the aisles any direction I chose.

One incident in particular brought home to me a very personal sense of community. Before he had to run off to work one day, my husband accompanied me to the commissary. As I got in line to check out, he grabbed the drink he had bought, kissed our son on the head and left. The clerk in the line gave me a strange look. When I started checking out she asked if that had been my husband. I said yes then she said, "Yesterday he came through my line with nothing in his hand. He asked what kind of chocolate I would recommend, picked out a bar, and then got $20 in cash. As he left he turned to me, said have a nice day, and gave me my favorite candy bar. That made my day!"

For me the commissary isn't just a place to buy food but a step back in time to when trust and kindness were part of our community experience. I am grateful for that benefit, along with the savings I get every time I visit.

Rebecca Adling started life as an Air Force brat and is now enjoying life as a mother raising her own life as a mother raising her own pile of adorable Air Force brats.