Spouse briefs: Connect your kids with family from afar

Being in the military has required a lot of sacrifice for our family. We have dealt with my husband being deployed or TDY or in training for a combined total of three of that last ten years. Not to mention the number of birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and school programs he has missed. We have also had to move a total of five times to various bases. Through all of this we have had to re-establish, time after time, new schools, friends and living patterns. The constant core of our world revolves around the kids and me.

One conclusion I have come to in regards to our family is that not only do we need to always maintain closeness with Dad when he is gone, but we need to draw our extended family into our lives as much as we can. Grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins provide a safety net of love even when they live far away. There is power in being a part of a group. We not only have a community in our kids' schools, our church and the military, but most especially in the extended family we are given.

Now, I would love to say that all is peachy-keen-awesome with all family members we are related to, but that wouldn't be the whole truth. What I can say is that regardless of our issues, I know they love my kids and the power of that adds security to their lives. Besides the standard phone calls and visits, I let my kids look at my Facebook page when relatives post something, or read any family e-mails that have been sent to me. I also ask for details about the lives of my sister's kids and share them with my own children. One game we play that always makes my kids feel good is the "Who loves me" game. With the little ones that list seems to go on forever and ever including a few extended family member pets!

During some of the hardest times with my husband deployed, I've used my family network to make it easier. We try to schedule grandma or cousin visits to pass the time and break up the monotony of the everyday. But sometimes no one is able to visit in person and the longing for Daddy is too strong for me to solve. When my children miss Dad the most but he can't be reached, I appreciate the fact that I have many family members my kids can call to cheer up. Their concern and love, even from a distance, provides stability in our ever-changing military lives.

Rebecca Adling started life as an Air Force brat and is now enjoying life as a mother raising her own pile of adorable Air Force brats.