A view from under the pew: the attack of the birds

link Amos the Church Mouse

Illustrated by Gary Mitchell

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift keys, and he shuns punctuation marks – except dashes and hyphens.

boss there have been

some strange air currents

passing through the church

pew underworld these days

in alfred hitchcock-style

the birds have landed and

they re causing more

ruckus than an octopus

on a merry-go-round

first came the parrots

who repeat what others

say - have you heard

what so-and-so said -

they re the ones who

always cry - they say

they say - and boss

their gossipy ways may

completely undermine

the church pew family

then came fauntleroy the

fan-tailed pigeon who

strutted all through the

underworld flashing his

pinfeathers and wanting

to be the focus of

attention but boss all

he managed to do was

cause confusion disgust

and jealousy

but fauntleroy was

nothing compared to

horace the hawk whose

sharp eyes never missed

a fault committed by

pastor leroy beetle the

songbird choir and any

church pew member

horace always preys on

the helpless and he

usually sat by himself

in the corner pew

then the jay birds came

in a bunch fussing

chattering screeching to

high heaven and making

a hell on earth

after them came

the bats the old

hypocrites in the bird

family - the bat looks

like a bird from one

angle and a rodent from

another he has wings

but looks like a rat the

only difference is the way

you look at him boss

then in the stealth of the

night - along with the bats -

flew in the crows the

undercover agents who

steal another s corn

crows are spiritual thieves

always trying to steal

someone else s blessing

and by the way boss crows

sure make a lot of noise

when they re caught

finally boss there came the

swans those beautiful birds

who have no certain

dwelling place but just

float from church pew to

church pew swans always

look for a better pond

but are never satisfied

just when we thought the

church pew underworld

would be overwhelmed by

our frantic feathered foes

there were two other birds

who showed up in the nick

of time - first the turtle

dove the bird of peace rest

beauty and security the

promise of god s love

on the way

then boss in majestic style

rawley eagle swooped down

out of heaven as it were

soaring high diving hard and

fast driving the church s

enemies out and bearing

healing in his wings for those

wounded by those hapless

bird brains

god s might and power

flew in the wake of rawley s

wings and the church pew

underworld - even to a

woeworm - rejoiced

amos