Grease: Thy friend and sworn enemy

Petroleum products rule. They are awesome. Don’t try to argue. You won’t win.

The author is quite familiar with the use of these marvels, and among their many qualities, they are frequently quite flammable. Fact.

Audra Brown

But let us take note of some less-exciting, but equally important uses.

There is, of course, fuel. Gasoline, and the almighty diesel keep the engines running and the parts a coming.

If there is one certainty in the chaos that is farming, it might be the diesel bill. All year round, the diesel tank better be well above empty.

When it’s slow, you might need 100 gallons a week or, when the tractors are in the field, 100 gallons before lunch — per person.

Comparatively, in a car that gets 30 miles per gallon and drives 100 miles every day, 100 gallons of fuel would last that car close to a month.

Needless to say, farmers have a particular perspective when it comes to fuel consumption and we don’t measure it in miles per gallon.

And fuel is just the highest-volume player. There is also the liquid lubricant.

Oil comes in many variations and every one serves a purpose. Engine oil keeps things free, transmission oil keeps things moving in the right direction, and penetrating oil makes rusty bolts and other suboptimal leveraging situations possible, giving hope for disassembly where there otherwise would be none.

Don’t laugh. I’m not kidding. Penetrating oil is da bomb — figuratively speaking, of course.

Last of the great petroleum derivatives is my personal nemesis and friend, grease. The less liquid lubricant.

The stainer of many a shirt, and the getter of in everywhere, it’s the good and the bad and the ugly, and deserves a hearty thanks for many saved bearings and for all the bearings that went out and were kept turning anyway.

Before you head out in the morning, make sure the back of the pickup is stocked with a variety of oil, grease, and fuel jugs.

Audra Brown is definitely a grease-something, but not a monkey. Contact her at:

[email protected]