Amos: All tangled up

link Amos the Church Mouse

Illustrated by Gary Mitchell

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks – except dashes and hyphens.

amos all tangled up

boss in case you re

wondering why there s

kool-aid and coffee

stains all over this

week s column it s

because marcellus

that mangy malevolent

cat has been running

amuck lately

he s been a holy

terror - well maybe

not so holy - more

like an ungodly

plague by night

life hasn t been easy

under the church pews

these last couple of

weeks boss

in fact i m still pretty

strung up by it all

here s what happened

i crossed marcellus

path a few days ago to

check out the cheese

supply in the church

kitchen refrigerator

all of a sudden

marcellus came whirling

around a dark corner

with his claws clacking

on the linoleum tile -

to a mouse boss it s a

sound worse than

fingernails on a chalkboard

the nearest possible

escape for me was to

slide under the storage

closet door - i oughta

know better by now boss

because that closet is

still filled with a cherry

kool-aid flavored

tangled-up church

volleyball net - and i

landed smack dab in

the middle of it

the more i tried to get

away the worse it got -

there i was dangling like

a mousy pretzel wrapped up

five different ways in kool-aid

flavored volleyball string

connie cricket hopped by

and asked me what game i

was playing and that she

liked my new after shave

but it was a little

too strong

go away and leave me

alone says me not feeling

very friendly

okay but you ll want me

to play with you one day

then we ll see mister

smarty mouse says she

after that freddy flea

passed by

whatcha doing says he

help me freddy help me

says me

how d you get to be like

that says he i don t think

a mouse like you can

possibly hang like that

never mind says me

get me outa here

boss we tried and we

tried but it went from

bad to worse

finally freddy had to

leave so there i was

upside down with my

tail hanging in front

of my face

the more i sat like that

the less it seemed like

a netty prison and the

more it became a

secret meditation place -

a place to meet with god

heart to heart

soul to soul and

spirit to spirit

you know what boss

the more i communed with

the lord and rested in him

the more relaxed i became

and soon - plop - out of

the net i dropped

sometimes like the writer

of ecclesiastes says

better is a handful of

quietness than much

striving after wind

amos