Amos: A View from Under the Pew

link Amos the Church Mouse

Illustrated by Gary Mitchell

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by throwing himself onto the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks – except hyphens and dashes.

greed strikes willifred

boss i talked willifred the white

rat into taking a trip in his

newfangled tiny time traveler

machine all we have to do is

just strap it onto my 1957

cheese-rolet matchbox car

where do you want to go

amos says he i can take

you to the edges of history

just watch me and see

let s take a trip to the

sea of galilee sometime

around the end of the

first century says me

you bet says he just let

me fiddle with the dates

a bit and we ll be there

in the flick of a flit

sure enough boss that

little machine rattled and

rumbled and when it

stopped we stepped out

facing the sea of galilee

just then a little hairy

goat ambled up to us

and gently bellowed

hey you guys are late

the tour s nearly over

what tour says me

the archaeological tour

of where jesus and his

disciples used to roam

and how he would feed

thousands of people with

just a little boy s lunch of

loaves and fishes

have they found any

archaeological evidence

says willifred the white rat

who used to be a mad

scientist s experimental

lab animal

nothing but a few rusty

fishhooks some old

coins and a few ratty

sandal straps says he

what coins says willifred

instantly curious

well over there we found

a couple of coins we call

widow s mites you remember

jesus pointed them out in

mark twelve verses

forty-one to forty-four

a poor widow who put in

two measly mites outgave all

those rich guys because she

gave all she had

what do widow s mites

look like asks willifred

here s a couple of them

says the hairy goat they re

hardly worth anything they re

the smallest coins in israel

i want them says willifred

what will you take for them

i ll give you anything i have

just let me have them

and boss this greedy gaze

rolled over willifred s eyes

all he could see were those

two little bitty coins

i ve got to have them now

says he give them to me

give them to me

both the hairy goat and i

backed away very slowly from

willifred then the hairy goat

lowered his head and said

okay here they come and

the hairy goat then rammed

little willifred and flipped him

heels over head

dazed willifred looked at me

and says what happened

you re okay now says me

the greedy bug bit you

and you took a trip to the

funny money farm

boss it just goes to show

you really have to watch

your motives - we need to

emulate the little

widow s example not

try to amass her assets

amos