Sharing story of 'The Christmas Ambush'

Christmas is a time for stories and friends; food, faith, and family; generosity and thanks. As my story lengthens, I find that the giving of gifts is far more my favorite than the getting of things. So, here’s my Christmas gift to you, a fun little fiction about some holiday havoc that while untrue, is certainly set on some fictional farm. For your amusement, “The Christmas Ambush.”

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and just so no one gets shot,

There’s no front door delivery. We keep the gates locked.

Down the road we must go, a few miles and more,

To pick up the presents delivered to Grandma’s back porch

After some coffee, good and hot and black,

We said our goodnights and then we made tracks.

It was just about then, on the way home,

I heard a western tune playing, so I answered the phone.

It was my dear mother, on her way home from town,

Said she needed some assistance to chase someone down.

Of course we were packing, my brother and I,

Not to mention little sister, (we just call her Deadeye.)

Grinning at each other, eyes shining bright,

We drove on more slowly and turned off the lights.

Then there it was, parked at our gate,

Some kind of red vehicle, unknown model and make.

We waited for word that we weren’t alone,

We had ‘em surrounded, no place to go.

Rolled down the windows, freed up our guns,

Turned on the lights, and moved in as one.

There in the headlights, you could see pretty clear,

There’s a big ol’ red sleigh and some strange lookin’ deer.

I guess that the driver was takin’ a break,

But when we showed up, he came right awake.

Before we could get out, and ask that old man,

Just what he was doin’ on our patch of sand,

He started a hollerin’ and callin’ some names.

Them deer sure paid attention when he popped those big reins.

I reckon it’s a good thing that our fence ain’t too much higher,

‘Cause short as it was, they still broke the top wire.

Early next morning, underneath the tree,

There was a roll of brand new barbed wire, addressed to me.

“I meant no offense!” read the short note.

“Here’s for the fence that my sleigh broke.”

There were quite a few presents, more than we’d ever seen.

Pliers, parts, and ammo. And some new guns to clean.

Now there’s a bit of Santa’s list that’s permanently marked.

When you look up my family, I’ll bet naughty is crossed off.

If there is a lesson in this story somewhere,

It’s that next time we’ll call our uncle who can cover the air.

Audra Brown wishes y’all a Merry Christmas. Contact her at [email protected].