Rodriguez: Sometimes the problem is what we want

Life is not always an “either” or an “or” situation. Sometimes you can have your cake and eat it too. Sometimes unexpected curves come as bundles, and these bundles, instead of weighing down your dream, give you resilience to reach them.

Earlier this month, Olympic gold medalist Kerri Walsh Jennings made a bold statement when she said, “I was born to have babies and play volleyball.”

This stirred up the either/or camps who need no introduction.

She said that before she had her three children, her life lacked balanced, her accomplishments seemed trivial in the big scheme of things, and “with all her eggs in one basket,” she felt her life was self-centered.

Many women today get burned out trying to “have it all,” which often means having a successful career and being a mom. Some people, and organizations, think it is impossible to have both. And yet the either/or mentality is what I believe sets women up for failure. The problem is not a matter of how we achieve what we want. Sometimes the problem is what we think we are reaching for. Perfect happiness.

I’ve shared before how I was really burned out one time, as a single mom and a busy newspaper reporter who was trying to play the role of both mom and dad. A priest, Father Jose Reyes, told me — besides the part that I could never be a father to my daughter, just the best mom — that, “To be happy, men must be in touch with God, with nature, and with others.”

Perhaps it was the “others” that Walsh Jennings felt she was missing. And her babies became those others. She is married, by the way. And with her fourth Olympic gold in volleyball, she said perhaps it’s time to have a fourth child.

I’ve made the mistake before of putting all of my eggs in one basket. What happens if Plan A falls through and there is no Plan B? Devastation and hopelessness.

I’ve been impressed by the strong faith of many other Olympic medalists who have not been ashamed to share it this Olympic season. They say the purpose in life is not just about going for the gold, but rather, going for the gold is just a part of “finding a pot of gold.” Sometimes, focusing too much on that pot of gold can lead us off the path. And sometimes, taking our eyes of that gold, even for a second, helps us to sharpen our vision and reach for it with even more determination.

Helena Rodriguez is a Portales native. Contact her at:

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