Terry: Canines not very alarming

Sometimes things go bump in the night.

Most of the time my brainless dogs react, but not always appropriately.

Karl Terry

Just the other night they alerted me to the hot tub outside making a strange noise. They both heard it over the TV. One of them went through the dog door barking, the other jumped up on the back of my chair and started yapping in my ear.

I got up and went out to the patio to determine what the noise was and the little one followed at my heels with a rumbling little growl in her throat.

Yes, these two canines are pretty brave inside the house or confines of the six-foot fence. As I sat down on the patio to enjoy a surprisingly warm October night, the dogs’ perimeter inspection of that six-foot fence was interrupted by the sound of coyotes howling not far away.

From the safety of the patio inside that fence they both challenged the prairie wolves immediately. A chorus of what seemed like 15-20 other neighborhood dogs and one lonely miniature donkey immediately joined them.

I imagined a pack of coyotes sitting in the nearby corn stubble having a good laugh over the ruckus they had created.

Things finally quieted again, but not for long, as an emergency vehicle ran by on the highway setting off the whole pack one more time, coyotes and donkey included. Sirens affect the neighborhood dogs a little differently but not in a quieter way. A few years ago a pair of Alaskan malamutes taught the whole neighborhood how to howl.

One night those sled dogs began howling and my big black mixed-breed dog decided to join them. It was the most horrible thing I’ve ever heard and he hasn’t gotten any better at it in the last couple of years. Imagine the sound a dog might make if he was being murdered by an ax-wielding goblin. He sounds like he’s dying a torturous death.

When the little dog joined our family she decided she needed to participate but hasn’t mastered a howl. Instead she harmonizes with a rising series of yaps.

I’ll admit I’ve always considered a big dog with a deep bark a great deterrent to interlopers. A yappy little dog with the jumpy nerves of a heroin junkie to keep the big dog sharp should round out security system.

If only it worked that way. If someone comes to the front door, the big dog nearly always manages to rush the door barking and get past my wife. He only barks until he gets through the door and past the visitor, then he’s free for a romp.

The real wakeup to their failure as watchdogs came one night when a rather intoxicated young lady wandered in the front door about 1 a.m. The dog sleeping on the living room couch never woke up or made a sound until I had crept down the hall in my underwear to order the intruder out. Poor dog never did figure out what had happened.

Consequently, I now have a big black dog that can’t howl worth a hoot that I’ll trade for a large-caliber handgun. Any takers?

Karl Terry writes for Clovis Media Inc. Contact him at:

[email protected]