Greetings to those who need them

It’s Christmas card season. I just got my first from a friend in Washington, and I think I’ve sweet-talked my way into another from an office a few blocks from work.

I’m not really one to send out Christmas cards, because that stuff takes planning. Instead, I’m just going to write a few holiday greetings, to people I think need them. Here goes ...

Dear people at basketball tournaments this holiday season: There is no such thing as an “over the back” foul on rebounds. It’s not in the rule book, and I’m sorry somebody told you that.

Referees do call fouls when there is contact that gives one player an unfair advantage, and your goal as a rebounder is to position yourself so your opponent has to resort to such means.

But you don’t have a birthright to the ball because you’re standing in front of your opponent. If your opponent is skilled enough to grab a ball above or in front of you, and do so without pushing you, he doesn’t get punished for using those skills.

Dear people at holiday basketball tournaments, p.s.: It’s not a three-second violation if a player in the lane is trying to put back a missed shot. A three-second violation requires a team possess the ball, and nobody possesses the ball when a shot attempt is in the air. The count stops on the attempt, and starts anew if an offensive rebound is grabbed.

Dear every online merchant I’m browsing this year: My purchase at your site is me saying, “I’m buying a gift for a friend who likes your stuff for reasons I don’t understand, and I might be back next December.” It is not me saying, “Please email me three times a week for the rest of my life.”

Dear merchants with trial offers: Please don’t make me create an account to find out how much your service is. I don’t want to go through all of that first-date nonsense just to tell you, “Not for $39.95 a month,” at the end.

Dear parcel delivery employees: Thank you for everything you do this holiday season. Please know you are the little-mentioned reason Christmas goes smoothly. Also, please forgive me for the inevitable time over the next two weeks I curse my bad luck for missing your delivery by five minutes.

Dear people at basketball tournaments this holiday season, p.p.s.: Specifically, the people who run hospitality rooms. You’re also a little-mentioned reason things go so smoothly. I don’t even care about the food; I’m just glad somebody took the time to make a place where I could decompress between games.

OK, that’s a lie. I do care about the food ... and you’re doing great work out there.

Kevin Wilson is managing editor for the Clovis office of The Eastern New Mexico News. Contact him at: [email protected]