Even deadliest problems have correct answer

Problems to solve are common in an agricultural operation.

Many require only mental effort to figure out and plan; the carrying out is only any afterthought once decided. But the greatest problems are the ones that you don’t see coming and that will probably kill you if you don’t come up with the correct answer in a short amount of time.

When the mad-eyed cow decided to flip your motorcycle over, the correct answer was, in fact, a solid turning kick to her face.

When the calf got his head stuck in the swinging gate and you were down in the mud, getting run over and over and over, the correct answer was to sink down lower and wait.

When the fire is burning up the grass right up to the house, the correct answer was to scoop it up in the skid loader bucket and dump it, along with the fire-retardant sand that came with it, over a not-supposed to-be-on-fire tree.

When the doohickey roller inside the top of the baler needs reinstalled and you have to hold it in place while hanging off the side quite a few feet off the ground, one-handed, and blind … the correct answer is to hold on for dear life and get a massage for the over-worked arm after you pry it stiffly from the place you’ve had to keep it frozen for far too long to accurately remember.

When the vehicle is rolling off down the hill on its own, sometimes the answer is just to let it go and sometimes the answer is a bit more on the nose — or on the grill-guard, if you are conveniently positioned downhill from the load.

When the smoke from under the hood of the pickup you are driving is more than just a coolant leak, the correct answer is to grab your phone, your gun, and the portable espresso machine … and exit stage left and put some distance between you and the pile of fire that it is about to be.

Audra Brown has, so far, had the correct answer to the deadly problems. Contact her at: [email protected]