Those Cowboys were playboys, too

Since I hauled hay for the parents of legendary Cowboys’ quarterback Don Meredith in my east Texas hometown of Mt. Vernon, choosing “Boys Will Be Boys: The Glory Days and Party Nights of the Dallas Cowboys Dynasty” seemed like a logical choice for my June book-of-the-month summary.

The only obstacle preventing me from following in the footsteps of “Dandy Don” was being 5-foot-8 and 145 pounds. (I sometimes get up to 150 during watermelon season, but am always back to 145 after finally getting up for good in the morning.)

The 406-page expose (HarperCollins, 2008) by Jeff Pearlman was given to me by my editor, David Stevens.

I suspect the Muleshoe native was extending a peace offering after — for the first and only time — gently nudging me a few years ago to turn in a different column than the Halloween one I had submitted by asking, “Do you really want to poke the bear again?”

He was referring to my Halloween costume in the column being “999,” but when homeowners answered the door I would do a handstand.

Excerpts from the book:

• During film sessions, Charles Haley had to be ordered to put clothes on (among other unprintable behaviors).

• Veterans duct-taped rookie Kevin Smith to the goalposts for forgetting to pick up after-practice sandwiches for them.

• Michael Irvin would take off his wedding band and dish out $5 bills for him and teammates to use at strip-clubs.

Shortly after the Cowboys won Super Bowl XXX, Irvin was busted in a hotel room with strippers, cocaine and drug paraphernalia.

• After a Super Bowl win over Buffalo, players formed a touring off-season basketball team. Brawls broke out with several opponents. Treated with awe by fans in the smaller cities, their post-game buffets included booze, marijuana, cocaine and groupies.

Women from various towns joined them on their chartered plane to their next destination.

• When the Cowboys agreed under Jerry Jones’ ownership for American Airlines to continue being their transportation provider, the airline had to provide photographs and measurements of the most attractive flight attendants and let the team select them.

• A drunken Jones once whispered to a female reporter, “Give me five minutes with you and I’ll take you to heaven.”

• At the Cowboys Sports Café, owned by former players, spouses were allowed to eat lunch, but could not enter after sundown. Groupies could.

• After beating Buffalo for their second consecutive Super Bowl win over them in 1993, Jones fired head coach Jimmy Johnson in a clash of egos.

Jones then hired Barry Switzer as head coach. Switzer approached discipline “as if he were the proprietor of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch.”

When the Cowboys made it back to the Super Bowl in Switzer’s second season, he joined much of the team in nightlife debauchery. Less than 48 hours before kickoff, he hosted a wild party in his suite.

“I didn’t know if we’d win or lose the Super Bowl,” Switzer said. “But I knew I was gonna have one @#$%^&* week.”

They beat Pittsburgh.

Contact Wendel Sloan at: [email protected]