Indiana can handle itself, Milo

This is a story about football, football fans, patriotism and the U.S. government.

Tuesday night, I bought the expensive bakery cookies on a small grocery trip but absentmindely left them behind at the checkout line. “No worries,” I told myself. “I’ll bring my receipt back later this week and grab replacement cookies.” That’s exactly what happened Friday morning, and I promise this will be relevant.

A man named Milo Smith attended an Indianapolis Colts game last year, and a few Colts players engaged in silent protest during the national anthem. He was offended at their treatment of the flag and the anthem.

Smith is also a state representative. On Tuesday, the Columbus Republican introduced a bill in the Indiana Legislature that would force the Colts to refund his ticket.

House Bill 1011 says if a person buys a ticket and attends a professional sports contest in Indiana (NBA, NFL or WNBA), and a professional athlete from the home team does not stand during the anthem, the person can file a written request for a refund of the ticket’s face value because they were offended. If the team doesn’t honor the request within seven days, it can be responsible for three times the ticket cost plus all reasonable expenses from small claims court.

Wow, where to begin? I’ll start with what the bill doesn’t include. The above paragraph is basically the legislation. The bill itself defines “professional sport” and “professional athlete” and includes all of that “be it enacted” stuff ... and it’s still only two pages.

The unsaid lets anybody exploit the bill’s intent. No guideline exists for what constitutes being offended, and the team can’t refuse a request. I could attend all eight Colts home games and potentially request eight refunds. Doesn’t matter if I stayed all game. Doesn’t matter if I attended subsequent games knowing protests were inevitable.

“Dear Colts, I’m offended. Money, please.”

Every Colts fan could download a form letter from the internet, or somebody could hand them out like that free taco coupon when the Texas Rangers score in the fifth inning.

Amendments could fix those things, but what remains is the bill’s implicit statement: If you’re offended, the government will make somebody pay. But not if you’re offended by incessant beer and erectile dysfunction pill ads. Not if you’re offended convicted felons are starting. Not if you’re offended the visiting team’s name disparages Native Americans. Not if you’re offended the business withheld information on long-term health injuries from its employees.

It only covers the thing that’s red meat for Milo Smith’s voters.

Government shouldn’t draw lines on what non-criminal offenses deserve compensation, and government shouldn’t give businesses de facto fines when employees stray from Milo Smith’s definition of patriotism. The First Amendment protects unpopular opinions from the government; it doesn’t protect people from unpopular opinions.

I can request an NFL team refund my ticket for any reason, just like I can visit my grocery store and request replacement cookies. Each company can decide whether it’s better to lose a few bucks and side with the customer or lose the customer. It can also tell said customer to go pound sand if it chooses the latter.

That’s how it should be — a customer-to-company interaction.

Indiana doesn’t need Milo Smith standing by saying, “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.”

Kevin Wilson is managing editor of The Eastern New Mexico News. Contact him at: [email protected]