Morissette-ing has reached the office

We’re seeing plenty of reboots these days. Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four get a new series every decade. “Roseanne” is back on ABC, and “Double Dare” is coming back to Nickelodeon.

Why are we seeing so many? In some cases, like those comic book movies, it’s a legal imperative — Sony loses movie rights to Spider-Man if it doesn’t use them every few years.

For others, the negative way to look at it is that the entertainment industry isn’t original. That’s true to some extent. But I think about it in the positive way: These shows are coming back because they had something other shows couldn’t replicate.

That’s how Alanis Morissette strangely became a part of our newsroom, and will continue to be.

The Canadian artist came to us in the mid-90s, with a voice like no other and lyrics that sometimes made us scratch our heads. In her most famous album, “Jagged Little Pill,” she sings about things being ironic. The oddest thing was most of those things were more inconvenient than they were ironic.

Newsroom people will debate the finer points of a word, of course — I’m famous for telling people there’s a difference between buildings being evacuated and people being evacuated. But the way Morissette has taken over newsroom conversation is her angry jilted lover scribe “You Oughta Know.”

We first got into the whole Alanis thing thanks to a YouTube video of some woman torturing her husband by randomly fitting “You Oughta Know” lyrics into general conversation, with an impersonation of Morissette voice.

The camera shows him having a sandwich. “Hey honey, could you take out the trash when your done with that sandwich? Because (Alanis voice) I’d hate to bug you in the middle of dinner.” His look of disappointment makes you laugh in the “funny because it’s not me” way.

I determined that we could Alanis a little bit, as well. We zeroed in on the opening part of the chorus. “Well, I’m heeeeeeeere ... to remind you ... of the mess you left when you went away.”

The last part can be reformed into almost anything. I envisioned a comedy skit, “Life Tips from Alanis Morissette.”

“Well, I’m here ... to remind you ... if you don’t brush, you’ll get tooth decay.”

“Well, I’m here ... to remind you ... that an apple keeps the doctor away.”

“Well, I’m here ... to remind you ... that you should buy me a large limeade.”

“Well, I’m here ... to remind you ... that they speak Spanish back in Uruguay.”

“Well, I’m here ... to remind you ... if you miss deadline, there’s a price to pay.”

The humor works because everybody in our newsroom knows that song. It’s something other songs will never replicate.

“Well, I’m here ... to remind you ... that this is a song you can’t replicate.”

I’m not sure how many we’ll get to before people get sick of it. We might already be past that point. But I’ll try to reboot it whenever I can.

Kevin Wilson is managing editor of The Eastern New Mexico News. Contact him at: [email protected]