I long for days when 'Password' was game show

Some days I just want to get off of the merry-go-round in the password-crazy age we live in today.

Unfortunately, it’s not even an option in many cases to do business without doing it online.

My bank statement that long ago quit showing up with interest income over a few cents costs $10 if you want it mailed. It’s free if it’s electronic but you need a password.

I can refill my prescriptions online with a password. My doctor’s office has a complete online profile of my medical history and I can pre-register for my appointment there or by replying to the email reminder they send. You have to remember your password though.

I can’t be the only one out there who is at the end of their rope trying to remember logins. No, actually I know I’m not because I tried twice last week to help my mother with her computer and printer. I couldn’t even crack the login with the help of her handy-dandy hidden password notebook.

I know to be extra secure we’re supposed to have totally random made-up passwords utilizing a combination of upper and lowercase letters and numerals and special symbols. But there is no way I would ever remember one of those type passwords. I would have to write it down and leave it in the first place a thief would look.

So like most of you I just modify the passwords I can remember with numbers, uppercase letters and special characters. Most of the time that doesn’t work and I wind up resetting the password.

Some accounts it seems I reset the password every time I login. That can’t be a good thing. Authentication questions are really weird too. It’s a lot more than mother’s maiden name, which every bank used to use before the days of online accounts.

The other thing that burns my biscuits are these stupid pictogram things that you have to look at then type the letters and numerals contained therein. Half the time I can’t make head nor tails of them. The other one is the puzzle where you have to select all the thumbnail photos that have a certain item in them. Sometimes it’s like a scavenger hunt just to get logged into an account or website.

I’ve already had one credit card tangled up because they forced me into online billing and I’m not too sure what the answer is going to be to all this nonsense.

I was pretty futuristic thinking in my youth but I don’t think even the pessimistic of science fiction writers had an inkling of where we would be by the year 2020 or just how frustrating it would be for some.

Then again, in my first office job I was able to commit to memory the phone number of dozens of customers. I could dial right there on the desktop office phone without even using the Rolodex. Now I can’t remember my password for all my credit cards or even my wife’s cell phone number.

It’s all good, but it ain’t easy. I long for the day when “Password” was just a game show.

Karl Terry writes for Clovis Media Inc. Contact him at: [email protected]