Our people: Honduras native finds purpose in Clovis

Clovis is home to many people from all walks of life, who come here for many different reasons. For Ana Cox, moving to Clovis was a critical step in the healing process following the violent death of her younger brother.

Born in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, the fifth of eight children, Cox remembers little of her native country. She has a distinct memory, however, of getting on an airplane and coming to the United States at age 5. Her family moved to McAllen, Texas, where she spent the rest of her childhood. After high school, Cox went to Utah to begin her college degree in criminal justice at Weber State. While there, she met and fell in love with a young airman -- her soon to be husband, Ashly. By 19, Cox was married and at 20, she became a mother.

In 2019, Cox said her younger brother was murdered - a crime perpetrated in retaliation for his reporting of sexual assault. In the months and years to follow, Cox wanted to be closer to her family in Texas. That wish came true in 2021 when the call to come to Clovis was extended by the Air Force.

Today, Cox works as an Outreach and Prevention Advocate for Arise Sexual Assault Resources. She also serves as President of the Aaron H. Cortez Foundation - an organization she and her siblings started in the wake of their brother's death.

Q: You recently got back into the workforce, what has that transition been like?

A: I've been a stay-at-home mom for 15 years. It was really difficult. I was taught that as a mom, you stay home with your kids, until your kids are out of the house.

For me, my kids are technically out of the house, because they're at school, but it was really difficult because I had that inner battle of asking myself whether I should leave my kids or stay home. I think it was tougher for me to be OK with the fact that my kids are OK with me being gone.

That was a struggle, but my work environment and the people that I work with, and the things that I do just made it a whole lot easier. I just love my job.

Q: Can you tell us a little bit about Arise?

A: Arise is maybe the third or fourth agency for sexual assault services in the state of New Mexico. We service all of eastern New Mexico. We service seven different counties. We go from Tucumcari all the way down to Hobbs.

We provide services for victims of sexual assault and help them have all and any kind of resource that they need. So we do advocacy and outreach - which is also my job. We have counseling services and we have nurses who do SANE exams (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner). Those are the four different services that we have, but our main goal is, of course, to help victims of sexual assault in any aspect.

Q: Does Arise work with the police department, or can victims go to you without going through the police?

A: When it comes to children, we are (of course) mandated to report. But if an adult is a victim and doesn't want to report it, they could come directly to us. Consent is extremely important to us, so if a victim says no to reporting their assault, then no. That's just it. When it comes to our exams, if a victim says no to something, then we stop. It's all about respecting the consent of victims. That consent was taken away by their assailants and we don't want to do that again.

Q: How long has Arise been around?

A: Arise was actually a program run through the Roosevelt General Hospital for over 12 years. We became our own entity and a non-profit in July of this year.

Q: What do you wish every survivor of domestic or sexual violence knew?

A: One, that they're not alone. Two, that there are resources. There are so many, not just agencies, but people that are willing to help them through the process. And third, that they can do it. Whatever they decide to do, they can do it.

Q: How have things been as a military spouse, and raising your family in the military? What have been some of the biggest challenges as well as the biggest blessings?

A: For me, Ashly was gone a lot. When we got married, we were so young and then ended up in Florida. I was 20 and he was 21 when he left on his first deployment to Iraq in 2007. The height of the Iraq War.

It was super scary because the internet connection wasn't great and the phone calls were like 15 minutes if that. It was way back when, and it was hard because I didn't know what my resources were. I didn't know about Key Spouse Programs, I didn't know about Hearts Apart, I didn't know that there was MFLC (Military and Family Life Counseling) for the kids. I didn't know that there were all these resources for not just me, but my children. And that was extremely difficult and I didn't even know who to turn to. We were told, "Just figure it out, you'll be fine, you just deal with it." And in reality, it's not like that.

So it was super hard, and my closest family member was 18 hours away. We moved to Florida in January and by July he was already deployed. After five years and 10 deployments, it was just a constant. You just adjust, you learn, you adapt.

One of the biggest challenges was not knowing how strong I was, and one of the biggest blessings was learning how strong I was, and how independent I could be. I didn't know that I could be independent. ... Sometimes it's a bad thing too. I just like to do things on my own now.

Q: Tell us about some of your favorite family traditions for this time of year?

A: It's been kind of difficult the last three years. My brother passed away on Dec. 9, 2019 and so one of our traditions since my brother's passing is we decorate for Christmas whenever we have the urge to, after Halloween. Before, we used to always wait until after Thanksgiving, but now we do it this way, because I want the proper time to grieve my brother's death - especially right after Thanksgiving and before Christmas.

I want to be able to grieve without having to feel the pressure to make sure that my kids get the Thanksgiving that they need. So we just decorate for Christmas whenever we can. And on Thanksgiving night, we always watch "Christmas with the Kranks," and I love it. My kids, even my husband, get annoyed by it. But I think it's hilarious. It gets funnier every year.

Q: If you could go back in time to give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be? Why?

A: I would definitely say to myself - at any past age, "Love yourself, and it's OK to be different." I tell my kids all the time, "I didn't make you to blend in. You were made to stand out." I know that I'm different, I know that I'm weird, unique - whatever you wanna call it. I wish I would have been OK with being different at a younger age, instead of trying to blend in with everybody else - to make sure that I was like everybody else.

Q: What is the best part about living in Clovis?

A: One of my favorite things about living in Clovis is that it's closer to my family in Texas. That is probably the main reason why we moved here, because it's so much closer to my family. In the first year that we've lived here, I've been able to go home every month. Now that I've started working it's been every other month. And sometimes when I go every other month, I'll go twice in one month. In December I'll be there twice because it will be my brother's third death anniversary, so we're getting together.

I also love my job here and I love our squadron. Our squadron is awesome. The people that are in our squadron are awesome. The leadership my husband works under is great.