I'm the Queen of Clean when travel is on the horizon

I love to travel. I think most of us do.

Until recently, however, I thought I was the only one who absolutely, positively despises the days leading up to a planned getaway.

When I pencil in an adventure on the calendar weeks or months in advance, it seems like the best of ideas.

But as the departure date grows closer, so does the dread.

I know it’s irrational, yet without fail I find myself hoping that my plans will be canceled.

Perhaps I’ll break a leg. Maybe the airline will go bankrupt, and my ticket will be void. An unexpected storm could materialize, and my destination will be hit so hard that all visits will be postponed.

Then when none of those things happen and it comes time to pack and prepare to be gone from home, a new level of idiocy kicks in.

Moments after I open that empty suitcase, I am struck with the need to finish random projects that are in no way related to the upcoming trip.

Clean out that coat closet in the hall? Check. Repaint the bathroom? Check. Arrange for that picture I received for Christmas three years ago to be framed? You know it.

This is a time when I also operate under the theory that — assuming I do actually go on the trip — something will prevent my scheduled return (hospitalization, arrest, kidnapping … I have imagined them all) and a highly judgmental stranger will be entering my home before I do.

That means there should be no dust, no dirty laundry, not a leaf of wilted lettuce in the refrigerator, not one crumpled tissue in any waste basket, not one dirty cup next to the sink.

What makes all of this even more ludicrous is that I have such low standards on a daily basis.

But put a ticket in my hand and boom: I’m the Queen of Clean.

The last time I traveled, it was all I could do to not run the washing machine for a single pair of dirty socks that were in my laundry basket. I wish I was joking, but I am not.

I mentioned all of this in passing to a couple of friends in the past few weeks and found out that — what the heck — I am not alone in this insanity.

One friend told me she dots her home with sticky notes that say things like “clean this” and “move this.”

Another feels compelled to mow and rake the whole yard — even in winter.

Plenty of us, I am learning, share the need to wear ourselves to the point of exhaustion before we have time away, whether it’s for an overnight or an extended journey.

It might not help me scale back, but the next time I have travel plans and I am polishing the andirons in my fireplace and regrouting the tiles in the shower, I might not feel quite as crazy after all.

Because I love to travel. I think most of us do.

And maybe most of us go a little nuts getting ready for it, just like me.

Phew.

Betty Williamson always knows in her heart that she’ll have fun when she gets there. Reach her at:

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