Who knows why we do what we do

I’m often wondering “why?” about stuff.

As a matter of fact, a buddy of mine said he’d get me a tombstone for when I’ve “gone on to Glory” that simply reads: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

I don’t remember many of the short stories the writer Raymond Carver penned, but I remember one single line from one of them: “Who knows why we do what we do.”

I remember I got an answer to one wonderment I had straight from someone who’d done it.

It was when I was working in “big-city” radio.

It wasn’t small-town radio like I was used to.

I ran the control board for radio shows.

Kind of like Dorothy in “The Wizard of Oz,” I would tell myself from time to time I wasn’t in eastern New Mexico anymore.

As a new arrival to “The Valley of the Sun” I had no concept of recent events there.

So when Gina (not her real name) came to work at the station to be part of the morning show I just regarded her as someone else who was on-the-air staff.

I had no idea she once caused a stir in town.

After her first morning Gina came into the control room and introduced herself.

She was very personable and approachable, not at all like the other on-air people. We talked about things co-workers talk about when getting to know each other.

A couple of days passed when the late-night radio dude, Johnny Nyle the Nightfly, dropped by the control room.

Johnny was probably the last of the “old school” late nighters, old dude, still smoked in the studio when it had been banned in the building.

“What’re they gonna do, fire me?” he’d say.

“How ya like working with Gina?” he asked in his gravelly voice, wiggling his eyebrows to finish his question.

“She’s just part of the morning show, just makes comments. Whatshisname handles all the heavy talk,” I said.

“That’s not what I mean, man,” he said with this weird wink-wink-nudge-nudge look on his face.

“What?” I said.

“She was naked in a magazine.”

“Really. Why’d she do that?” I asked.

“She just did. She used to be on TV. She posed for the magazine and got canned,” he said.

From then on when I worked with Gina I wondered why she’d bare herself to millions of people.

One day when I was having my lunch in the breakroom, Gina came in to kick back and have a cup of coffee. We chatted about stuff and things.

And then…

“So I suppose by now everyone’s told you about why I’m not on TV anymore,” she said.

“Yeah. Why’d you do it? I’ve often wondered why someone would get naked for millions of people.”

She leaned forward and thumped her finger on the table.

“They paid me as much as I would make in five years working in TV. If you’ve got it, use it. Besides, it was sort of fun,” Gina said.

I kept working with Gina until I decided I’d had enough of the big city and moved away.

Gina posing with no clothes on in a magazine is just another one of those things that people do that makes me wonder why.

I reckon she gave me a pretty good answer.

Grant McGee writes for The Eastern New Mexico News. Contact him:

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