If your dad is still around, consider talking to him

Father’s Day is Sunday.

I haven’t written much about my father. 

It’s only in the past few years I found the words to give him the praise he deserves.

You see Dad was a mid-20th century career man. He worked his job constantly. Mom took care of us kids.

And he was not to be bothered when he was home. 

What I remember most about Dad was he yelled a lot. It was tough having a conversation with him.

He didn’t talk much to my brother, my sister or me. In our house if you wanted to talk to Dad, you talked to Mom.

I finally understood some of what happened in the past as I chatted with The Lady of the House about growing up.

“So when you were a teenager your dad was in his 50s,” she said. “OK, you and I are in our 50s. Imagine a teenager in our midst.”

The thought of teenage me hanging around our house was scary.

I got a lot of things from my dad though. 

It was pointed out to me that a goodly portion of my love of music may have come from my father. 

His “hi-fi stereo” was one of his most prized possessions. He’d listen to a lot of records by guys like Glenn Miller, Artie Shaw, Harry James, Benny Goodman, Frank Sinatra and Jerry Vale, calling it “the greatest music ever recorded.”

Some of Dad’s “rules” I remember included: “You never get a second chance to make a first impression,” and “When the opportunity comes up to advance your career, take it,” and “When you’re talking to someone look them in the eye,” and “Always line up the buttons of your shirt with your belt buckle and your fly.”

When I was 17, I got into a bit of trouble with the law.

Truthfully, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

My father was out of town on business. I thought for sure I’d be in huge trouble with him, too.

He stopped what he was doing and came home.

As soon as he walked in the door he motioned me down to the basement.

He asked what happened and I told him.

He told me not to worry, the truth would come out in court. He told me about something similar that had happened when he was 17. It was a good, rare time when he was “real” with me.

I always wanted to talk to him about “the stuff of life” but we never did.

There was one time in my 20s we had a big yelling match, and I’m sorry that happened.

The last time I saw my father he was in a hospital bed, dying from cancer.

He looked at me with a very sad face. He didn’t talk. He looked away a lot.

I felt like I’d done something wrong.

I smiled, told him I loved him and what a great dad he was. Then it was time to go.

After he died, I asked my mom why he kept looking away and wouldn’t talk.

“He thought he hadn’t done enough for you,” she said.

“That’s not true, he did the best he could, as best he knew how.”

Like we all do.

I would have liked to have had a better relationship with my dad and not been such a know-it-all, hot-headed young man.

If your dad is still around, why not talk to him on Father’s Day?

Grant McGee writes for The Eastern New Mexico News. Contact him:

[email protected]