Conversation starters vary from age to age and culture to culture

How do you start a conversation?

I’ve never relished small talk, especially at a social event, but over the years I’ve taught myself to do it and I think I’m actually pretty good at it when I need to be.

One of the strangest parts of human conversation, however, has to be the greeting. Whether we’re beginning a conversation in a business or social setting, on the phone or in person, our society requires that some sort of greeting is exchanged to start the conversation or you’re deemed to be rude and offensive. In general no one really listens to the greeting, no one means the greeting and no one ever responds to it truthfully.

Someone that simply greets you with hello or hi is treading pretty neutral ground but when they add on the “how do you do” or “how are you” the conversation really should go off track right there if you answer truthfully. Instead of telling folks how we’re really doing and making them sorry they asked they usually say “fine” or “good,” maybe even great if they’re spreading on the schmooze.

In truth, we might be having the worst day ever and need someone to talk to about it. On occasion, I’ve seen it happen where a simple greeting opened up a sob story that the greeter really didn’t want to hear. I’ve learned to hold it back personally and I’m trying to remember to simply use the one word reply “blessed.” On the other hand if a telemarketer makes the mistake of asking me how I am I might just unload both barrels.

I personally think the Australian greeting of “G’Day” is great. The Hawaiians use “aloha” to start or end conversations but that makes it problematic to know whether they’re coming or going.

The non-verbal greetings are stranger and maybe a little awkward across cultures. The Japanese bow when meeting someone. That seems to express servitude in my mind, but if taken in a Christian way I guess that’s not all bad. In France you kiss each cheek, but I’m not totally comfortable with that act with a stranger.

An Inuit or Eskimo probably has one of the most storied physical greetings, a kunik, which is done by touching noses or maybe a cheek or forehead. It’s reserved mostly for loved ones. What I didn’t know before an online search is that Bedouins use the same greeting for a known acquaintance.

We’re all familiar the Indian greeting of folded hands while bending and saying “Namaste.” Native American tribes mostly used the raised palm as witnessed in hundreds of Western movies.

Back when I was in high school the slang greeting was to “give me some skin” or slap both hands together by holding out your palms for the slap then reversing and slapping the other guy. It evolved to a celebration of “give me five” like after a good play in sports.

Finally there’s the traditional handshake, going back to at least Roman times and maybe even caveman era. An extended open hand showed peaceful intentions since they could see you weren’t holding a weapon. Clasping the hand indicated a bond between the two.

While the handshake is a friendly gesture, I’ve known men that wanted to turn it into a contest. Hopefully there’s still goodwill after your hand gets crushed.

Karl Terry writes for Clovis Media Inc. Contact him at:

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