Opinion: We need to start listening again

My best friend Kelly and I frequently had loud, boisterous arguments over politics that led folks to believe that we disagreed about everything.

They were mistaken.

His views were influenced by watching Fox News, and mine are influenced by watching CNN, so that’s where the arguments would start. But they didn’t end there. It usually didn’t take long for both of us to call BS on the TV talking points and get to the heart of the matter. That didn’t always lead to an agreement, but it almost always led to a common understanding.

Of course, the folks who were there at the start of the argument didn’t stick around until the finish. There are few ways to clear a room faster than starting an argument over politics.

A recent survey by the Pew Research Center found that only 17% of people said they are very comfortable talking about politics with somebody they don’t know well. And, nearly six out of 10 respondents described political conversations with those they disagree with as “stressful and frustrating.”

More concerning, nearly two-thirds of respondents said that people who vote for a different candidate than they do probably don’t share their values. So, it’s not just that the other side has a different plan to achieve peace and prosperity, it’s that they oppose peace and prosperity.

It’s impossible to reach that level of cynicism without giving up on honest debate with those who disagree with you.

Honest debate doesn’t always mean coming to an agreement. The recent prisoner swap was an issue where Kelly and I would never have agreed. He had a more steely-eyed view of the world than I do, and would have seen it as an incentive for more false arrests. That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t have celebrated their return, or that I don’t appreciate the risk.

There are a lot of issues where people of good faith can come to different conclusions about the best way forward. The city of Las Cruces is wrestling with that now when it comes to problems caused by poverty and homelessness. I have written in a previous column that I disagree with a proposed shopping cart ordinance. But I don’t question the motives of Las Cruces Police Chief Jeremy Story, who proposed it. We both want to get to the same place.

All of this mistrust and bad faith will come to a crescendo during the next three months leading up to the election. And, not just in the race for president. Our mailboxes will soon be filled with campaign mailers spouting false and misleading claims in both the state and local races as well. TV ads with scary music and lighting will try to convince us that those running for office from the other party are all a bunch of thieves and scoundrels.

While none of that is new, I would argue that the heightened level of political division has certainly been exasperated by the former president and current Republican candidate. But this isn’t about him. It’s about us. We need to start talking to each other again. Talking face to face, not chatting online. Then, once we’re done talking, comes the hard part.

We need to start listening to each other again.

Walt Rubel is the former opinion page editor of the Las Cruces Sun-News. He lives in Las Cruces, and can be reached at:

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