The candy is Halloween's only real appeal

I live on the edge of town in a quiet neighborhood — quiet enough I don’t get trick-or-treaters interrupting whatever important program I’m watching on TV.

My late wife used to lament the fact that we never or rarely ever had any of the candy freeloaders show up on our doorstep. I kinda liked the fact that she would stock up on chocolate candy and someone had to eat it.

I liked it even more at the places where we lived out in the country with absolutely no chance of having to answer the door on Halloween. But I guess I’m a bit of a spoilsport where this made up holiday is concerned.

I never much cared for the idea of dressing up in a costume when I was trick-or-treat age but I wasn’t above working really hard at the activity and trying to fill the biggest sack I possibly could.

The only costume I remember was the hippy ghost getup. My mom sewed a few daisy patches onto a sheet and cut eyeholes. With a headband added it was easy to get outfitted and no one had an idea who you were. Of course now that we’re all old and some of us are slightly memory addled, there is a great deal of controversy among my siblings over which of us actually dressed up as the hippy ghost. I believe it is entirely possible that more than one of us used that costume over the years.

My brother and sister and even some of the neighborhood kids contend that one year I dressed in drag and went as a woman. I personally have no memory of doing this. Sure, I dressed in women’s clothing from time to time, but I never went outside in them.

If I had done that though, I’m sure my legs looked great in panty hose and high heels. Upstairs things were pretty fake however. No, I’m not just talking about my lack of hair.

I don’t particularly like scary movies or fake haunted houses. Not much about this holiday appeals to me except the sweets. Nevertheless, our society has managed to make this into a commercial success to rival all other holidays.

Everything, including the candy, gets put out earlier and earlier every year. I had a young relative who worked at Walmart for a while growing up and I made a game out of every time I saw her starting in early September asking her if the Halloween candy was half price yet. I did the same thing on the Christmas candy and Valentine’s candy.

Right now I’m pouting at Walmart. So far, my favorite Halloween candy — candy corn — has not been anywhere to be found on my path to the pharmacy for my diabetes medicine. Most years, it’s right there in the main aisle where two bags can easily hop into my grocery cart. If I go looking for it my blood sugar will be my own fault, not the store’s.

Oh well, I’m in an overseeing role for Safe Trick-or-Treat in Portales again on Friday. That’s pretty funny. Guess I’ll put on my t-shirt that says “I Don’t Do Costumes” and see if I can scare some little kids out of their candy corn.

Never quit believing in the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.

Karl Terry writes for Clovis Media Inc. Contact him at:

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